It and Me

Nathens Birthday Sep 6, 2009

2009-09-13T18:36:00.001-07:00

Happy Birhtday Nathen

4 Years old

Devon Lost his first tooth

2009-07-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

He is so exited

Got two bucks from the tooth fairy

fog is lifting

2009-06-19T18:27:00.001-07:00

This last month or so has been a big fog. I roboticly get things done and wait for the phone to ring. I hate myself for not being with my dad when he needs me most. And know it wouldn't do any good any how.

Dear Val Webber my Step Mom passed away. Saturday June 13, 2009

The wait is over. Her pain is gone and now the peaces are left to be picked up. After she was lade to rest Wednesday lightness came over me. I am still mad at the unfairness of this. She was to young and had to much life to live for, to have gone so soon. But I am not sad for her. She is with God and it was like peace entered our home when she let go of her body and entered heavens gates.

So life here moves on. I aic for my dad. I get angry for silly things. Like James going on about season passes for snowboarding and what CVA will pay. I mean that's like half my budget for the school year. And the other half goes to the YMCA witch he insists on us doing also. Sure we will all go snow boarding, but the boys wont have books. Gahh. I just don't get the man.

I just miss being home. And fined it so strange that after all this time MI is still home. SO much of my heart is there. I guess that will never change.

Sick

2009-05-29T20:19:00.001-07:00

The title parity much said it all. We been sick. Sick in spirit, then in body. Started Thursday with the boys having a light cough. peeked on Sunday at least for Nathen with a visit to the ER a 104 temp and bloody noise. 5 hours latter we get to go home with him lots of meds and poor things got pneumonia. Devon gets hit next then me and James. All weak we battle high fevers and horrid cough. Today we are all on the mend. Boys played outside in back. Still keeping them at a slower pace, but we are not cottages and doing better. Hoping on Sat we will get to go to Niki. Missing her.

Spirit wise we are growing with God and his grace. I know for thous who don't believe this is cheesy. But it is a place I draw great strength when times like these come about. That and my friends and Family. Val is still in the same state. Only now she has an infection and fever. My heart aces for my Dad every day. There is so little to do. His birthday was last Sunday. He is 55 years young. He didn't even want me to wish him happy birthday.

Every thing ells boils down to money. We are scrapping the pantry and freezer these days. Only buying fresh fruits and veggies as needed. All others are coming from my stock pile. And James thought I was nuts to do that :) But with the Roof needing fixed, the car brakes, and all us getting sick and the co pay for meds alone yickes. We are pinching the pennies tall the end of next month and that's if work picks up. Oh I pray it does.

Things are doing better. We have our health coming back and with out health insurance we would have had to pay much much more. The roof is fixed all be it on credit. it is still fixed and the car too. James job may be slow, but he has a job so I will not complain on that. Doing what we can to look on the bright side. Good friends. And lots of love it will all end well in the end.

Missing U

2009-05-16T21:17:00.001-07:00

Taken in 2007

Autumn, Dad (Howard), Mia,
Step Mom (Val), Trevor, Nathen in my arms, Devon and me

I pray that she comes back to us. That she knows no pain at this time. I pray for my Dad to know that he is not alone and we love his so much.

We love u Val.

The last few months of fun

2009-05-03T18:39:00.000-07:00

I figgerd with this up coming weak being so busy. Devon terning seven and James being on vacation and all I would try to catch up before I get way behind again. So here u are. Adventures in homeschooling gardening and all that good stuff.

(above) Our new slides came in

(Below) Making apple sauce

My new raised garden beds They are so awesome

Awana Derby The Army car is Nathen's

We had a great time even if we didn't win a thing

Trevor's car coming in secant

Devon's car is the brown dog on the back track

Cheese

It really was fun Nathen's car almost got a trophy. Was way faster then the thing looks

So there u have it. Oh and that middle guy terned seven today :)

The sun is out

2009-04-05T07:48:00.001-07:00

Finlay some sun and of course to sick to really enjoy it. Church today and hopping to size up my garden to start putting in the raised beds. Or at least buy the wood for them.

Spring break is over. Tomorrow we start at the Y again and I get a new class. Science and history day at the other Coop and just moving threw tell summer hits or I just give in and give up :)

On the bright side we been seeing lots of friends and out alot even in the rain. I love the zoo in the rain. Probably why I am sick :P Kids are in good health thow. Thats a good thing I think.

I love the sun. SO happy it is back even for a short time.

And we go on

2009-02-07T21:09:00.000-08:00

Plugging threw these last few weeks has been a chalinge. My brain is fried, my body is bruised and in pain. I am worn out and so are the boys. We are very grateful for no snowboarding class next weak. (We just found out today) A nice weekend rest will do us all some good.

After that. I do want to say it is sooo worth it. I love watching my boys fly down the hill. No fear in them just joy. It is awesome. I took the lifts today and am now wishing I had braved up to it sooner. very fun, but I still loose count as to how many times I fall down.

My friends and family have really stepped up to the plate to help out with Nathen too. It is such a great comfort knowing he has a safe place to go if mommy can't be there. It isn't anything I have done to much of in the pas. And for six or more hours at that. He has been really good to. It has honestly unproved ho he acts when I drop him off places now. Very cool.

Church is another early morning that I drag getting to, but love when I am here. The kids in class are so exited and it just brightens my hole weak. And I get to be Nathens Teacher which he loves.

My family in MI have been calling allot too. Tom is engaged. I keep looking out the window to see if pigs are flying or any thing on the news about hell freezing over. Really did thing he would be a bachelor for life. I am very happy for them. Just hopping I can meet her before the wedding in Nov. Why so fast. I have no idea.

Snow Boarding

2009-01-18T18:49:00.003-08:00

Our first snow Boarding class was This last Saturday. Starting at 6am we ate break fest and headed out. met up with Steve and the cousins and headed to the mountains. He I am very cold in the 19 degrees temp waiting for class. Tho I have to say by the end of class I was sweating and hot. A work out I am not used to and paying for today.

This is us and the gang waiting for class. James took the day off to watch the boys and help with Nathen. Good thing seance there terned out to be no child care as I was told there would be. Once class started Steve and the others went snowboarding on there own and James took Nathen into the worm lodge aria.

My eyes are closed Cheesy

The first part of class is simply standing up on your board :)

The man with out the board is out instructor for the day. He was pasiant and I think was shocked how fast the boys took to it. Heck I was shocked too. Devon is a speed demon on his board. Now he just need to learn how to stop. lol

Learning to walk up hill with your board.

All in all a good day.

Spork Never leave Home without it

2008-12-27T21:12:00.000-08:00

What every home needs

Spork

Christmas

2008-12-26T19:52:00.000-08:00

This was the night Before Christmas. We had a huge snow ball fight and ate icicles form the house.

Christmas Morning. Santa did indeed come.

Even Webby was happy

The best Pic ever to send to Great Grandma

Present time

They each got weapons of destruction

And then there was war

So we had them take it out side

We rode on the 4x4 and it was awesome in the snow.

I just love this pic

And his one too

So a white Christmas and a hole lot of fun.

Happy Holidays and God Bless

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2008-12-22T20:04:00.001-08:00

So we ended up home today. And as promised to keep spirits up we built a fort.

The neighborhood was strangely quiet, but all the better for us.

We had a great day and lots of snow fun.

Here we are working hard

Playing hard

And enjoying a job well done

And The lights at night were lovely

"It is a winter wonder land, Mom"

2008-12-14T10:53:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not this is twice the amount we got all year last year. The kids woke and had breakfast and grudgingly looked out the window when told to let the dog out. "It is a winter wonder land, Mom" Cries Devon. Sickness forgotten they dressed and ran out the door for winter wonderland fun.

Gizmo loving the snow

Doesn't he look cute in my hat from L

My boys trying to make snowball with the light fluffy white stuff

Gyro taking it all in

After Hot chocolate with candy canes hit the spot just right

Christmas Tree hunt

2008-12-13T20:36:00.000-08:00

James got to stay home for a few days this weak. Leaving us with the opportunity to get our tree. And now with three kids all tucked in bed I can finally post about it.

We hunted for about an hour and then we cam back to the third tree we liked and cut that one down. Each of the kids helped. It was so cute.

Then it is time to decorate. Daddy is very good at helping with the top ornaments.

And no help was needed for the bottom.

Nathen was so exited he wouldn't wait to put one on before he was getting another.. Here he is eyeing the one daddy has off camera.

The end resalts

The perfect Divila Family Tree
:)

Thanksgiving Fun

2008-11-29T11:34:00.000-08:00

Thanks giving turned out pretty good here. Melissa and Steve stopped in for a bit and dropped of the boys (James got no Pics of them grumble) Mom staid most of the day and left early afternoon for Bingo so it was us and the kids the rest of the day. James was home so it was very nice spending tome with him and he wasn't even on the computer. So here are our pics' To much food and a nap latter. We had a lot to be thankful for.

Steve, Mom and Melissa

Devon, Nathen and Trevor

Trevor, James and Mom

I actually like this pic of me :)

Nathen and gizmo. To much turkey

Hope u all had a great Thanksgiving

Letting Go

2008-11-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

The holidays are coming up fast. And well I been rather grumpy about the hole thing. I was very upset about being told what I was going to be doing this thanksgiving. I have been cut out of the loop just like when James' parents lived here before. I have always hated them making decisions concerning me and the kids with out me. And now even the little decisions like this sting. But in the end it is making me a very bitter and not nice person.

I have decided to let go of past happenings and just be happy. To except that they most likely will not change and this will happen again. I am going to do my best to resist my instinct to rebel against there decisions good and bad. It just isn't worth the argument and really I am the one who ends up looking like the jerk because they have no idia James doesn't include me and he always gives me the "Oh, I thought I told u." shit.

So, still bitter, but I am making an honest attempt at being in better spirits about this. I am happy MIL s coming over. I am glad she is comfortable in our home and I am even happy to cook for her. I just would have liked to be included in the decision rather then told.

Thing of very late

2008-11-12T18:13:00.001-08:00

Things have been so busy these days and I have been to darn lazy to put picks up. So, here they finally are. Having the YMCA on Friday limited us to our aria. We quickly came home with friends and had a chili dinner that was way to spicy for them :) Then being wet and cold out we headed out to trick or treat at the church. They had games and a play after. Trevor got to go on stage and won a prize. He was so exited. Chinese checkers and half the marbles are already missing now. lol

Nathen as a Dead kitty. Yes this was his idia.

Devon and Trevor playing games.

Hanging out before the play

And the Great Pumpkin was very good to us

All Done

2008-10-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

First I just want to say sorry I haven't been posting much. And I know I still have a bunch of Vacation pics to put up. But my sis got on me today to show me these so here it is. I am mostly healed and feeling fine.

left shoulder
right shoulder

A good Day

2008-09-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

Today was one of the days when it all just falls into place. The kids wanted to do there school work. Language Arts of all things. They were just clicking and getting it. So much fun. We got to the library and I even found three books I been looking for. Yay. Played at the park just before the rain hit and got home in time for Nathen to nap and boys to have a well deserved brake. They are now watching Tom and Jerry and I get some time to myself. Yay again.

I just want to bask in the calmness. I had to write to remind myself on the days when all seems lost. Days like this happen. Days like today make it so worth while. I love days like this.

First attempt to catch up

2008-09-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

These last few weak have been so much fun, but have left little time for updates. There is allot more I want to put up, but this will have to do for now. I figured Starting with my Tat update would take the least time. Basically I sat for 3 and 1/2 hours and need to sit for another 1 to 2 hour to get it finished. That will not be tell Oct 1st. So her is my work in progress.

Taking a page from L

2008-08-27T20:35:00.000-07:00

Looking around my house these days. Getting ready for the start of the busy up coming year and feeling overwhelmed as I ignore Oct in my near feuter and focus on the moment. I come to see I have nothing more permanent on my walls then posters. Really every nail that is in my walls was put there by the previous owners over five years ago. So, needing to feel more at home I get brave and put a few more nails in my walls.

I then torterd James with more home improvement needs. We put new fabric on all out dining room chairs. Again all with previous owners and stains, from them and us. They so needed it. Now they look almost new. They are our taste. Clean for now. And I love that I got to pick out the fabric to mach a table cloth I like.

Nothing like keeping busy while the kids are at the Y.

Life is moving slow

2008-08-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

But the c's are home. Happy dance time. Now I just have to get this nasty sick bug out of our house :P

Work in prograss

2008-08-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

So here it from beginning to end.

This first part really hurt.

The Rose wasn't so bad
The Wolf hurt. At this time I am unable to see why people get more then one

This is just before the shoulders.

Left shoulder

Right shoulder

And the end result

I love it. And surprisingly wiling to go back for the secant round and get the color.

Little visiter

2008-08-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

Today was a slow moving day. Boys went to the Y. I forced them to clean there play room and then Nathen and I wen tot check the mail. It was at that time a young Golden Retriever fol lode us home.

Turns out he live across the street. But the kids did get to have a few hours of fun. And I got to freek James out with the idia of a secand dog lol

July flew by

2008-08-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

If u asked me what we been up too. A question I have been hearing allot for some reason. I really don't know. Trying to get with friends and not seeing as much of them as we would like. Doing allot of work on the hill in our back yard, but it is a long way from finished. And getting ready for the up coming school year witch is coming way to fast.

The boys did do some VBS and some classes at the Y. I did set the finale date for my tat and I am very exited about that.

So July has been a month of prep. A month of moving threw. and I couldn't tell u exactly anything was done, but we existed all the same. Just hoping we can rape up some things here in Aug. And set some in stone for the up coming year. But I am not holding my breath on that.

No Power

2008-07-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

yesterday was quite a day. Planing to set up the tent for the kids in the computer room and let them junk food up (something they don't get to do much) watch movies and crash all in a heap in the tent. Didn't work out as planed.

At about 7:30pm the power went out. Being the secant time in two weak I waited for it to come on quickly just as hit had before, but no luck. They are doing construction down the road and I am thinking they hit something they shouldn't have. Or yet again a drunk may have hit a pool. Witch also happens form time to time here. So no power.

Pains changed. We talked. About God, funny words, being nice and why some people are mean. and what we dream of when we sleep. It was great. Once Nathen had crashed we put him in the tent and the boys took a bath by candle light. We read books and they snuggled in the tent with there brother and fell asleep fast.

I got to take a bath by candle lights as well and read in silence. Real silence. no hum of electricity or neighbors music. Just quite. Really a treat. Mush nicer then when the power goes out in winter.

It was midnight when the power came bake on.

Just been hangin out

2008-07-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

After an eventful drive to Star lake we made it in time to watch the magic show

don't they look thrilled

Have some escape from the rain playing the game of life. Hunt should be in commercials.

And then to have clear skies for a wonderful show.

The boys had a class at the Y this weak. It was so fun for them, but i am rather glad it is over now. Then this weak end they had there very fist sleep over with friends. They are over tired and beating on each other now. So, I know they had a great time. And now I am looking forward to a weak of relaxing nothingness.

June Summery

2008-06-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Today we are skipping church do to Nathen and a yucky cough. I think it is just allergies from something up in Mt. St. Halons, because he is doing better, but still wanted to give him one more day of rest. We have been going at full speed for weeks now and next weak is no better. I am still trying to fined a ballens of getting out and doing things and rest. And being OK with a do nothing day like today. So here is what we been up to. I am soooo glad summer is finally here.

We had a great view at the Woodland Zoo. It was such a fun day I loved getting together with this group. This was the best way to get summer rolling.

We visited North West Trek for the first time. SIL has been making more time for family witch his really nice. It was slug fest and the kids all got there degrees in slogaligy.

Of for free Thursday fun with friends. They got to paint at the glass museum and then have a scavenger hunt at the history museum after a picnic dinner.

And then summer finally came to Washington

Our trip to Mt. St. Helen with The Reallife coop. It was a Gorgas day and such a beautiful view. We all had a great time.

And if u ever needed to know how many it takes to get into a car when on top of Mt. St. Helen's when u lock the keys in the car.

14 kids, 6 adults and one very patient man with jumper cables because u not only locked the keys in, but left the car on and the battery is dead.

To rap up the month we spent a few fun days with the Cs. It was a real treat to get to go out with my hubby as well. Thanks Niki. We had such fun at your house hanging out, swimming and picking barriers.

I needed today

2008-06-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sucked. And today was bliss. I had three exta kids in my home and one would think that is a bad thing, but no. They plaied so well and I got to rest. I got to help a friend, and I got to enjoy the moment.

Perfect end

2008-06-24T19:42:00.001-07:00

Today was a day I would have rather stayed in bed all day. Yesterday was a close secant.

Yesterday I had to put up with SIL. I love her and really do like being around her for the most part, but we are very different and her selfish ways are upsetting to me at times. Her saying my kids will be materialistic some day is upsetting. No, I simply do not care about labels. I like quality at a good price not a name for an outrages price. My kids will learn by example as hers have. Please do not put this stereotype on my kids. Oh and please do not complain that people who don't have money should not be going to movies. (she was not talking about us) that poor u with your pig ass truck only have one car. Ummmm u have one car u have to pay for. You use your husbands company to pay for the other. U have two cars. I have lived with one car, don't go down that rode with me I have been there and u are not there.

After that it is no wonder I feel like crap today. the kids were great. They played outside and keep out of my way. Nathen even took a two and 1/2 hour nap. But I had no motivation and keep crying. I simply couldn't pull it together today. having written this down I now see the negatives I was caring home with me. It also doesn't help that James is out of town once again. I have been missing him. Seems like he is gone all the time. I really do hate the rail road some times.

But we did watch spiderwick before bed. It was nice. My kids loved it and so did I. Not as much like the books as I thought it would be, but good. So, some were I found peace and am all cried out. That pain inside that has been lingering for days is lifted. Maybe it wasn't such a bad day. Some times I just need to cry it out.

mmmm that came out scatter baned, but oh well. It has just been that kinda day.

neighborhood came out for the sun

2008-06-18T10:08:00.001-07:00

We had sun for two hole days. I am in total shock. My garden loved it. I think my sprouts grew a hole two inches. We hit our bikes and rode around the neighborhood. Kids every were. the boys made friends and plaid pirates at the park for two hours. We set a play date with an old girl friend from Kinder garden and enjoyed digging in the dirt and playing with water pistils. And that was just the first day.

The next day little girl friend came ever. I got to sit and chat about home school with her mom. while the kids painted and plaid. The house had a mager estrogen boost with four little girls playing happily with my boys. Latter it was angle food cake backing time (my first) it terned out great. I am so exited and it was not as hard as I thought.

Today we will be at a friends for food and fun then the museums on Thursday. I love summer.

Friday my cousin is getting married. I so wish I could be there. I am so happy to see her in love and with a kind loving man. She deserves this happiness. And so does he. They will be making a family complete with four kids who love each other as much as kids can.

It's Over

2008-06-11T19:36:00.000-07:00

The end of the YMCA school year. I have oafishly designated summer vacation in my home. I am the Mom it is in my power to do so.

I am having mixed feelings about the end. One I need the break, but with the date changes they have put on out group there may be no next year. I was first sad because I would be loosing a few friends and so would the boys, but have sense found out we only have seven families for M/F. That isn't enough to keep a group going. Also all but two supervisors are staying and one is very very new at this. I am trying to keep positive, but it kills me that there is no way of knowing tell next school year. The Y has made this are pob and sees no reason to help us with this. Makes me mad they can have extra staff for there new Wed. kids, but not for us and it was there fault we are in this position.

We had 20 family and now only have seven. I don't see how this was a smart move for anyone.

Redheaded Step-child

2008-06-05T16:28:00.000-07:00

This is how our local YMCA has been treating us. They holler when we "break" new rules no one bothered to tell us about. Like no flippers during free time. Always complain about the extra staff they need for "us." Witch totals to one extra life guard and two staff in the gym. We volunteer our time and fill all other needs. This program has been going for over ten years and yesterday at noon they booted us like we were trash.

Without a word to us they changed our M/W class to M/F. So that they can buss in the public school kids on there half days. We are loosing half out family's because they waited so long to tell us. Most of us have a Friday Coop we love and already obligate and paid dues for the up coming year. Personally it will work out better in the long run for us to stay with the Y and mover our group date with a smaller number of mom's. But it saddens me how many of my friends and the boy's friends will not be back next year because they choose to accommodate the public school over us. They not only will have to buss these kids in, but will have to hire more stuff to watch these kids. I secretly (or maybe not so secret) hope this is a total flop for the Y. They handled it all very poorly and left many with no choice but to leave. Just isn't right.

A brief look at May 2008

2008-06-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

For one of our last days of RLFC coop the place to meet was at one of the moms house. It was great. Kids of all ages did crafts, learned history and played games all day. I so love these moms and there kids.

Well, directly after this we headed to L's house. for some b-day fun in N's honer.

Here all the kids have formed a rotating chain on the slide in back. They all had a great time. Probably almost as much as me :) You couldn't fined a more loving and welcoming group.

One a beautiful day daddy was home we took advantage of the sun and headed out to Ft. Nisqually for Queen Victoria's birthday. The boys helped build a cabin and Nathen learned a new game the kids plaid with a ring and sticks back in the day.

Last day of RLFC coop. Nice to be getting a break, but I already miss the kids sweet faces. We had a picnic and got way to much sun. Water balloon fights, squirt guns and soccer. Along with some good old fashion BBQ hot dogs.

This little tiger is one of my favorite squashes. Nathen adores her and loves to help. So, on our trip to the zoo with some of my favorite moms and there kids. I got to give a little loves and cuddles with Nathen's approval.

What we been up to

2008-05-11T18:56:00.001-07:00

These last few weeks have been such fun. I was planing on putting up picks, but for some reason that is not working. So I will try to describe verbally as best I can.

First was our vacation to the Great Wolf Lodge. We stopped at a cool sporting good store and shopped around and finally gave in to the boys wanting Pop gun. Now normally I am very against guns, but these are little wood things with plastic tips that make a great pop noise so I gave the go ahead. Witch was great once we got to our cozy room. We got the wolf den and the boys had their own bunk beds in their own little cave. This instantly became the fort and they defended it well.

OK I figured it out

The boys fort

So we set out down the hall in our bathing suits. the place is so cool. The lights each silawet an animal like a wolf, dear, or bear. They totally absorb u in the cabin feel tell u get to the water park.

Boys in the pool

The water park has two main pools. One a wave pool and the other with flouting animals for the kids to climb on and fall off of. Then u have the Kidd aria with two Minny slides and water shutting things all over for them to have a ball. The big attrition in the center has two speed slided and lots of things to trigger water falling on some unsuspecting passer by.

In the back are the three big slides. One the boys could not go on and the other to witch for me was to many stares and yet we repeated this over and over again. It was a blast. When we wear not in the pool we spent our time in the arcade. Nice loud and big. Every kids dream and at the cub club. this was nice quiet and gave the kids create things to do. every parents dream.

So for the next three days we ate, played in our room, swam, ventured the arcade, made crafts to take home, and then repeated over and over. I would so do it again and I hope we can soon.

And sence this is getting very wordy I will go on latter about how great our friends have been and what a blast it is to be able to spend time with them.

Who Knew?

2008-05-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

Princess Leia

A strong-willed herald of causes against injustice, you passionately strive to right the wrongs around you.

Somebody has to save our skins!

Gardening indoors

2008-04-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

So today it was snowing, the kids are sick and there is no place to go. So, we decided to get
down and dirty

So on top of pretty flowers. The Boys planted Tomatoes, peppers, and onions along with loads of spices. All to grow indoors tell weather allows them to go out. It was great fun and a great mess.

Spring is in the Air

2008-04-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

It is most certainly just about summer, the days a re getting longer, I am getting antsy to be out side, and we are having our seasonal run of illness. Never seams to fail that once everything is thawed so are the germs. Seven days more of taking terns sick. I am feeling better and so is Nathen, but it is Trevor's tern with a sore throut. I just hope Devon takes his tern soon before our vacation.

So driving on we are still getting the garden ready. An I am looking so forward to the our vacation at the end of the month here at the Great Wolf Lodge http://www.greatwolf.com/locations/grandmound/index.aspx we can really use a brake. And it will also mark the end of my working days tell I fined a new time consuming project.

So if I don't jump out of my skin before then. All will be good.

The Job is done

2008-04-05T20:10:00.000-07:00

Gyro has been fixed. The house has been sprayed and we got a secant self cleaning litter box. At this point if he keeps peeing on our stuff we did all we could to stop it. I have a number to a pet shelter that will fined him a good home. And not put his life in jeopardy if it takes time. So now all I can do is wait and see if our efforts are going to work. I hope they do. Even with my allergies I still love the little guy. And the boys would be crushed. They put on a good show last time he ran away, but took out there feelings on other things. Just don't want to put them threw that.

Well I guess not

2008-03-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

So, today as the c's viseted. Gyro came to eat. He is back in the house. Unfortionatly he ws rubbing all over me. I plan to giv ehim a bath tomarrow, but right now I dont' know if it si hom or somthing he got into. I have a rash every were he tuched me. he happieness of him being home was a saprise to me. I was very happy not having pee on my stuff. Now It has passed and I am jsut itchy. Looks liek I will be fineding a new hom for the little guy any how. I look like a tomato with bumps. This sucks.

End Of the Gyro Saga

2008-03-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

So Easter Morning we did our egg thing and hunted for baskets. Made cookies the hole Easter thing. As I Made Breakfast I noticed a bad smell by the figured. Gyro had peed on my counter top. On some important papers and the boys art work there. Yuck.

So I rubbed his nose in it. (yes, I know that doesn't work on cats, but I really more wanted to brake his neck.) I had restraint I think. When I let Gizmo out to potty. Gyro ran out. I let him stay outside while I cooled off and then asked him to come in. He would run away every time. Finlay night came and he still wouldn't' come it so we let him stay out. We haven't seen him sense then. We are told my our neighbors girl he was in there yard, but I don't know. I think if he was near he would respond when we call him like he has done before. Their is another black and white cat the romeos this neighborhood so she may be mistaken. We had an appointment this weak for the vet, but with him missing I guess that is to little to late.

Not to upset he is gone. Nice not to have pee on out things, just wish I could be certain he is in a safe and happy place. Maybe he will still come home. Don't know after three days it is hard to believe he will.

To me at 15

2008-03-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

OK so it took me a few days.

To me at 15.

Don't date that ass Joey. You deserve better.

Don't sleep around. It makes u feel bad and again u deserve better.

Hug your Grandma more and visit her more. U will Miss her more then u know.

Don't beleave everything your mom tells u. Your sister wants to see u as much as u want to see her.

Treet your friends better. They are the once who will be around after asshole cheats on u.

Exept your dad trying to be a dad. Give him a chance he loves u.

Last. You are a good, funny, loving, person don't beleave any one who tells u diffrent. Even yourself.

I tag Michelle and Beckie. What would u tell your 15 year old self?

Back Pepper

2008-03-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

You Are Black Pepper

You may be considered ordinary by some, but you're far from boring.
You elevate the mood of any discussion, and people miss you when you're not around.
You are secretly very dominant and powerful. Most can only take you in small doses.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatspiceareyouquiz/">What Spice Are You?

One Fine Day

2008-03-07T19:47:00.004-08:00

Today was reword day for all the hard work the kids have been doing for the math-o-thon. B girl was so sweet when I told her Trevor and Devon didn't do much math because they finished there assignments for the year. She said "That still counts because they worked really hard" Such a sweaty.

We meant with the C's and little French Fries to see The Golden Campus. Think Mrs. L had the right idea hiding in the mall :) the movie was good, but very loud. Think it shook up the kids more the expected. Nathen was a pistil. He would get riled up by the fight seens then not want to watch the rest. Was quit interesting to say the least. Think it will be some time before I take him to a movie again. After we let he kids run out some of there sugar. I thought for two min about going to the vegi store near by. Realized we have no money for that and took the boys home. Then as thier hunger struck I thought I should have asked if they all wanted to go to lunch. Never think of thous thing at the right time. So we stopped at BK for some not healthy food and off to home.

Calling my sister back when I got home. Brian's doctors are looking more positive for his recovery. The CT scan shows good brain activity and they cut down on his octagon and he is breathing some on his own now. They lowered his meds in hopes he would wake up, but nothing so far. Scheduled his surgery next weak on his face and brain. Now he just needs to wake up. I am hopeful for good news soon.

All in all a good day.

Math-a-Thon

2008-02-24T20:52:00.000-08:00

SO we are all set. the boys are in there last two weeks of WAVA math and what a better way to celebrate then to join friends in a math-a-thon. What a great idia Niki. I just have to hit my head agents the wall a few times realizing after I told them that the 7Th is on a Friday so we will have to skip the church coop group to go to the movie. Oh well, one day wont kill them. And they so deserve a fun day for all there hard work. So here we go ...

Another day past

2008-02-21T19:41:00.000-08:00

This last few weeks have just been a bler. One kid sick after another and then me and James and back again. I am hoping it is out for good. School has been good, tyring to keep the boys moving on phonics so we can move up a grade. I'll probably end up fudging some of it. Seems it would be a shame for them not to move up because of one weak of work not done. Tuesday was nice surprise. I was expecting the worst and should have known better. Having all six kids in the house was really fun. I guess I expected different because well, with just one extra on a normal bases it is quit a different story. My home always looks like a tornado hit when she leaves. But Niki's kids were great. Even picked up without asking. As I said. I don't know why this surprised me they are great kids. Refinanced on Wednesday. I hope it was the right dissuasion. We had to do something. There have been one or two months when all the bills were payed, but nothing left for any thing ells. James's stress seams to have lifted some. And that is a very good thing. I have felt so useless without working these last few weeks. I know $100 a weak isn't much, but it has payed for food. Now it is a very unreliable income and I am about to drop the hole thing. I hate not knowing when or if I am watching Shelby at any time. I can't make plains that way. I have mixed feelings on that one so I am just letting it go as is for now. Tomorrow we start back at the church. I am exited. I have missed hanging with the ladies and the kids and I have been cooped up sick and can use getting out of the house. Plus I can get my baby fix :) And that is all for now.

OH the eclipse was sooo cool. Noon of my pic's came out tho.

Renaissance Feast

2008-02-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

What a long but fun day. Starting at 6:30am to 11:30pm with prep and clean up bouth at the church and home. It was so worth it.

Our Homeschool Groop

Trevor and Devon

My Knights in shinning armer

Black Plag Candy Land

Sord Play

Showing off for Daddy

Let it Snow

2008-01-28T15:40:00.000-08:00

We finally got some. Already melting, but we had some fun this morning

I don't think Nathen could bend his arms

Damn

2008-01-25T20:23:00.000-08:00

I had pics of home school fun today. Rock tumbling, banana much stuff, the kids had a blast. And my computer deleted them all I can't fined them anywhere. Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn!!!

First time or everything

2008-01-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

So today I leaped out of my comfort zone and went to the Friday Coop at the Real life family Center. It terned out to be allot of fun. The boys get to learn history from the Story of History and have fun making art. I think is supposed to relate some how. They get to use there lunch box and play games outside weather pyramiding while I cuddle with baby's in the nursery :)

Cleand out

2008-01-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

Cleand out

Been cleaning all day. After each of us took terned being sick this last weak our house needed a purging. The Tree is down decoration is boxed and stored. Even went threw the cuberts and sorted the good from the bad. Still have to fold clothes, but then I always have to fold clothes. They are clean witch is a good start to that. With 2007 in our whack I guess I just needed a clean slate.

The boys have pledged to clean some times without me asking (they did clean there room today) I am so proud.

James has pledged to be nicer to people and try to be less critical. He also wants to loose weight. I don't know what brought on the nice thing, but it couldn't hurt.

As for me I will be nicer to myself. I just can't keep running this way. So I cleaned and feel good about my home and to tired to feel bad about anything ells for now.

Better late then Never

2007-12-30T18:17:00.000-08:00

With the get together tomarrow I figerd I should really get these up. It was very stresful to have Mellissa over and the kids, but some how I didn't kill any one by food poisaning or other meens on hand.

Don't they look happy

Finaly get to open this thing then they make him look at the card

What it is all about

One for Great Grandma

One extra Presant this year

Tomarrow is the last day of the year. Plan to see it out with a smile.

Happy New Year

Silent Night

2007-12-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

The kids are sleeping. Been sitting drinking coco and reading by the Christmas Tree. Sees like yesterday we were in the yard playing in the sprinkler. Just feeling hopeful and helpless all at the same time. The Weather is cold and wet and I have been wishing for snow. But then I hate driving in snow so maybe not. It has been such an odd year. I wonder what the new one has in store.

To good to be true

2007-12-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

It lasted six days. eather I wasn't home or she wasn't home or James was here to take the brunt. Well, he is at work and she is here. I have to bake for tomarrows Family lunch and so am stuck with her. If I make it to the end of the day before kicking her out it will be a maricle. I even bitched on CTT, but I am still mad. What rite does she have?

Heres the story

I just can't tack another day of this shit. DS1 is chewing on a paper clip. I ask him to put it away and a fit starts. I place him in time out, but he is full of spit and fire so I have him hold his arms above his head. This is a step proseder. if he cooled down he wouldn't have his hands up. It is uncomfertable, but not torcher. Not like I spanked him or hit him. Just told him to hold his hands up. In one min he was colm and out of time out. This is what works for my kids. It dosn't hert them. Trevor and I talk and all is well. Tell MIL pipes up. "Thats child abuse, your an adalt u should know better." This coming from a women who would hit her kids with what ever was at hand at the time. And then she gets on me about how I treat the girl I watch dering the weak as well. Um, I never lay a hand on my kids. If they say there arms hurt I let them rest them. They are never up for more then a min or two. well exept the little girl. SHe can stand there all day. Dosn't seem to bother her. BUt if it gets her to swalow her food and not rot out her teath then I am doing it and her Mom knows that is how we handle things here as well. It is not My MIL fuckingbuissness adn I am tierd of holding my mouth shut. SHe talkes behined my bake about me like I am not going to hear about it. I can take most things, but do not tell me I am hurting my kids. I know my kids I know what they need. If they were starved, black and blue, put down, and treated meen. then open your mouth, but for having him hold his hands up for one min. GO fuck yourself. I am raging rite now. She knows thats the one butten I will not talerat. You do not tell me how to be a parent. I didn't ask.

There has been other stuff, but this one was the kicker. I so want the next two days to be over. I so don't want to be near her and really don't want to go to the family dinner. Great her and my SIL picking on me together. At least they will have fun. I wish I had an excuse to get out of the house. James to be here.

Heart Beat

2007-12-01T22:17:00.001-08:00

Silence as I wait for James to come home with a snack. Probably fries. Sitting reading, enjoying the moment. A little drink hitting my head and the light tingle as I feel my heart beat. The neighbors playing music. Mormons they will tern it off soon and put there son and his friend to bed. I can hear my house humm, the dishwasher ticking as it heat dries. And a thumping that can only be discibed as a heart beat. My home pulsing in rhythm and peace. Alive with us resting insides its walls.

Thanksgiving with great friends

2007-11-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

OK so finally getting around to putting pic's up. We had a fantastic time. L and her hubby put out a fantastic spread. They make there home so worm and welcoming I didn't want to leave. James wanted me home for some reason though :) The kids got to see the moon in all its glory and we had a great time. I can't remember a better day.

Here is D and Mack chilling after a very filling dinner

Trevor and Devon enjoying tree house fun

L and all her lovelies
Make and her beautiful doughtier
Just the boys hangen
Niki and Fran came over this weakened. We had a blast. Like a secant Thanksgiving. Can't ask for more then good food with good friends. I love these guys.

Ginger Bread House

2007-11-24T11:44:00.001-08:00

Last Sunday we were able to make it out to see the family. It was a very nice day. The kids spent most of the time in the yard playing tag then came in for a delicious dinner and

Gingerbread fun.

Even the Daddys got in on the fun

Had to get a pic while they were standing still

Think they ait more then they stuck on the house

isn't it beautiful

every one is sleeping

2007-11-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

So it si only 8:30pm. James worked all night adn was up all day with us and is now sleeing. The kids are worn out from swimming at the YMCA and are out cold. It is nice to have time to myself, but really dont' know what to do with it.

I could post pic's from halloween. Still haven't doen that. Or knit the baby blanket for my friend Heather who just had her fifth baby. Calob. He is so cute and I really do nead to do that. Just not up to doing anything. Probably grab some candey and veg infront of the TV.

Been wondering when I lost who I was. I used to like things and now it is all about the kids and James. Been isalating myself again too. I keep wanting to call peaple and then don't. I should have goen to the CoOp today. I was just so tierd. Frirday is the only day I have nothing to do and no were to go. I kinda like that.

Oh well going to go veg. Tomarrow is gymnastics so that should be fun.

Just checking in

2007-11-07T17:50:00.000-08:00

Noteced it has been some time. Been bizzy kinda, but nuthing note worthy. Halloween has come and goen. That was fun. Niki, Fran and theh kids staied over. Made it all the more exiting and fun for the kids.

James is working alot, but loks like he will be home for a few days. Things always slow down on weak days.

Nathen is going threw a grouth spert and is tierd an cranky, but I can't seem to get him to sleep more then an hour at a time. Leaving me tierd and cranky too.

Boys are having fun with schoole, just wish there were more good days. Maybe there are just to tierd to notes them.

(yes I know spelling sucks and so does typing, but on handed u get what u get)

Boys are starting a new CoOp on friday. I am a bit reluctant. We have so much on our plates as it is, but it sounds like fun, so giving it a try. It is religias base Sciance and Histeroy. I really don't know much about it, but figer the boys can't make a good choice on there beleaves if I don't teach them anything. Well, they know basic stuff.

As for me I started taking anti depresants. Mix fealings on that. I know I am manic and my lows are getting harded to get threw. None of my natral stuff seam to cut it any more and this time of year is really hard. Just feel defeated in taking pills. And in some way that my fealings are invaled, becouse they are intensifid by my condition. I onlmost don't want the pills to work. I think they are though. I do have a losse or apitite, but I seem to still keep my temper down even though my suger shoud be way off. And I have had only one angsiaty attace in two weaks. Just hate being on meds. Makes me wearder then I already am.

And thats the scoop. Take care all

2007-10-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

Wow two post it one day. Was reading Niki's post and realized I am way behined on this pic stuff. Here are the pic's that didn't bler out on my.

Fright Fest 2007

We had a blast. Thanks Niki and Fran

2007-10-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

Just a few pic's been playing weth in the little spare time we have these days. Have set a goal to have the boys finish there WAVA school work early. I know they can do it and we make it fun, but days like today make me wonder. What makes the most simple things so hard some times? But today is a beautiful day and off to the park we go.

This is Lake Huron

I like this one. Has some great angles

Hands what more can I say
This was up buy the canadian Boarder.
This Rose is infront of Shelby's school. It jsut took my breath away.

2007-10-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Which Horror Movie Character Are You???

Freddy Krueger

Freddy is a classy motherfrigger,he can kill fast and is in your dreams,i mean come on,he has knived gloves and his word is"b*tch"

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

http://www.youthink.com/quiz.asp?action=take&quiz_id=51031

2007-10-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

Trip Home
So vacation is over. Had a great to weaks and my Mom all to myself for one of them. I forgot how good it felt to just talk with her. She even trusted me to die her hair :)

It was wonderful seing every one. I have been crying all day as it hits me I don't know when I will be back to see them. The babies Fath, Lydia are so beautifull and Angelina is such a big girl. I did miss seeing Creg and his clan Sarah's little angels, but next time.

Seeing my Dad to was great. I hate to admit I talk alot like him :( Hugging him made my year. We had a great time. going to the water park was so cool. I miss him already.

The kids had a fantastic time. and seeing April and Tommy reminded me why I live far away. heheh With them I wanted to be selfish and have them all to myself. Just being in the room with them made me feel home. I ahte it to be over, but all good things must end.

I will post pic's soon of all the fun

New Look

2007-09-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

So if u havn't already seen her it is my new look.

Didn't James do a great job.

Puyallup

2007-09-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

We got to go on Wednsday. It was a nice cool day and no rain. We got the dizzy pass and the boys put it to great use. We ait to much. I got an upset tummy from the rides and we all had a wonderful time.

Hi Daddy

Look no hands

Nathen loved being big like Trevor

I love his face in this one

He Cut his Hair

2007-09-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

Nathen Got ahold of James Razer Today

So I had to Shave his head

He keeps tuching his head. Think he likes it.

Trip with Daddy

2007-09-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

So another fun day of no School. We went up to Blaine by the Canadian border on monday. We got to look for shels learn about contry borders, difrent flags and that Canida has no Presidant so Deovn dosn't wan tto live there. (He is going to be presadent some day u see.) We checked a fountan and leand why the water falowed the rock and didn't fall strat down. And when all was doen we had Greek food for the first time. and found it on the map along with china (Trevor likes chinies food better) when we got home. I love not goign to school.

When I go thoem I had a call from there teacher becouse I forgot to put in there attendance. Are they nuts. Oh well, I'll just put what ever the hell I like. As long as it is getting doen who cares how long it takes. Really

2007-09-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

Well we have been surviving. Nathen's Birthday flew in and out. we didn't have a party, just didn't have the energy for it, but he loved opening the gifts James and I got him and April and the girls singing Happy Birthday to him on speaker phone.

We found out we can do one weeks worth of the WAVA home school stuff in two days. Not even two bizzy day. So I am no longer concerned about adding on more. The boys do seam to like being home. I just wish the YMCA would get on the ball with there home school program so they can play there. Never dealt well with disorganization.

My grandpa went back in the hospital. This time with fluid on his heart. Once again they say he will be fine, but I so just want to go home. Oct can't come fast enough. Money runes our lives again and there never seams to be enough. I struggle with my desire to home school and be home with the kids or work and help James out. Not that I have any skills in anything. Maybe just a weak at the bunny ranch in Nevada would help Just trying to get out of this funk before the bad weather hits and makes it harder.

Some pics I been playing with

My two year old did have a happy birthday.
Tami and Shelby stopped by with his gift
He jsut loved opening it

Rain

2007-09-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Everyone ells wrote about it so here is my version. James and I were enjoying the new light breeze coming threw the window way past when we should have been asleep. And watching the newz and herd announced "real thunderstorms" for our aria. It was about two min before the thunder crashed. Some how my kids sleep threw all this even Nathen. It was so cool and if I closed my eyes I could almost be home in Michigan listening to the rain pore and the thunder roll.

Porn Movie at my house

2007-08-31T22:23:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday night I got my kids to bed and settled to take a bath and read. At I entered my room I herd my neighbors voice. I didn't think much of this, but did got to close my room window so not to over hear what they were saying or give them a show as I got into the tub (not that they look, but u know) It was then I saw flashing lights on coming from the opposite side of the fence in my yard. It is nothing but a old barn and government land they are going to build a rood on some day back there. I herd women talking and more flashes. Strange. Probably kids. I closed my windows and took my bath. By the time I got out all was quiet in the back and I went to bed with out a secant thought tell hanging out with my neighbor a few nights ago.
It was there voices I herd, but not them in the back ( I didn't think it was, but what is was was a shock) Not just kids. Apparently an enter film crew. two not so dressed ladies, one with blue hair they tell me and a man on a mattress in the Field. Yep Filming a pron movie. How cool I wish I had checked it out would have been more fun than a bath.
Now I have to check out all the new porns coming out with chicks with blue hair. See if I can see my house in the back ground or here my neighbors talking behind the cheesy music they always play. Cool one more reason to watch Porn :) And sense they got a better look at them when they ran into them at the store latter that night I guess I will have to have them over for a movie night just to make certain it is the rite girls.

I Feel Sick

2007-08-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

My mom called. Grandpa is in the hospital. He is OK will go home on Monday. Mild heart attack. I want to go home. I don't want to be in WA any more. I just want to be home. I know he is going to be OK ... it doesn't help. Oct. is to far. My family is to far. I feel so alone here. I hate saying that. I don't want to belittle James and my friends here or his family ether.

I just can't rap myself around things rite now. I feel in a panic all the time. I am on edge and today was the worst yet. I don't know how to get this better. I want to yell and today i did at the kids. I feel honorable about it. They didn't deserve the explosion. Every thing is in a state of transition and I don't know if it is for the better. I am tired of being scared, feeling like I am making a mistake. Today was just bad.

Tagged

2007-08-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

I got tagged by Lory, this time by Louisa over at Osgiliath Is Overrun. Can't say I am thrilled to get a tag, but I like updating my blog and find it difficult to do so in the summer. A meme lets me fill the day when I really have too much going on in real time to wrote a concise blog.

RULES - Post rules before giving the facts - Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves - People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules - At the end of the your blog you need to tag eight people and list their names - Leave them a comment on their blog, telling them they have been tagged and not to forget to read your blog.

1. I guess one of my weird things is not looking in a mirror or out a window at night. I am always scared some one will be standing behind me or staring back threw the darkened glass even on the secant floor.

2. I put in my application at the YMCA today. I am exited and petrified at the same time. I do not adapt well to change or at least not easily. I like having things a certain way and not changing most of the time. This is way out of my comfort zone. I haven't worked out side the home for seven years. I am exited to possibly be getting a job I really want working with kids, but scared to have taken on such a changing. Yikes what was I thinking?

3. Now for the fun stuff. I am so exited to be home schooling this year. I do have concerned about being on my own with the kids all the time. When James is out of town I can get really lonely for him and adult conversation. But I am thrilled to have the opportunity to have them home to learn as they need to and in there own stile. I am so exited to watch them lite up when they get it and let them know it is OK if they need more time. I can't wait to learn with my children as they see things in ways I never would think to see them on my own. I am so grate full to have loving family and friends who have supported me in this choice. Gosh now i feel like crying.

4. My favorite Season is Fall. I love the crisp air and the color of the leaves. The sound they make under my feet as I walk. The smell of apple blossoms in MI. I can't wait to be home and taste the bitter air. I love sipping cider. Its heat in my hands and on my lips as I sip against the cool bite from the wind. Along with a fresh donut of cores.

5. I like to people watch. To see someone when they think they are not being seen. I like to watch friends chat and how they act with each other. The loving touch or the soft giggle at a bad jock. Or arguing and not seeing any one ells around them, but the one they are with. Young love and teens who think the world is all about them and why not. I like to watch people reading and see the joy or boredom in they face as the move on to the next page. I also like to see the photo in the moment. People can be so beautiful when they aren't looking to be seen.

6. (Lory did write this, but it is nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way) Sometimes I really feel like I am dreaming and that if someone wakes me up, I will find that my wonderful life was really just in my imagination.

7. I tend to look for the best in every thing and every one. I have only met one person in my life I couldn't stained. And I really did try to like her. I like people who are true to themselves. And tend to be out going, Maybe because I am not out going. I like being some one others can trust and confide in. I like knowing others I can feel the same about. I trust first, but if u loose that trust I can never give it fully again, but every one gets a secant chance.

8. I feel most comfertable with kids. They are honist and hide nothing. To see the world so new and wonderas as a child dose. Is amazing to me. I feel so privleged to be even a small part of it all.

I tag
Niki, snarkee britchez, http://www.myspace.com/shutterbugmama, http://www.myspace.com/clairest81, http://www.myspace.com/crimson_critter, http://www.myspace.com/tom_the_man_webber , http://www.myspace.com/jam718, http://www.myspace.com/dtato

Hanging Around

2007-08-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

Well been keeping bizzy with the kids. Thursday we went out to the history museum witch was a lot of fun. Terns out the glass museum is free on the third Thursday of the month too so we got to walk threw there. Really pretty stuff. Tammie and Shelby cam with us and James even maneged to be home. He showed me a much easier way to get there from our house too. Friday my nephews spent the night. The boys had a blast. Locked themselves in there room and plaid all night. Then on Sat we went to a fair there Mom was working to represent the black forest police department. We got to play in the fire trucks and police car. They had blow up jumping things and we tired ourselves out. Today we rested and hung out. Oh and got Trevor new shoos. Swear he goes thew a par a month lately.

Some pic's of our weak

Shelby, Nathen, Devon adn Trevor

On the prarie

Dress Up Time

And they did it all on there own

Nathen and Daddy Havign fun with Trains

Devon lIked this one on the Glass bridge

Aund Mellissas Police car

Devon. Trevor Nathen and Cortlan

Kennedie and Devon

We even beet the Rain that day.

Another Weak

2007-08-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

I really haven't had much to post, but felt I should chime in. Well we have been bizzy.

Last Thursday we went swimming with friends the boys got a treat when we ran into an old school friend as well at the pool. Both Trevor and Devon had a crush on her at one time.

Friday Niki put up with us for a hole afternoon. We played and she made great gluten free pizza. The boys were so thrilled with piking barriers at the soccer Field. Nathen was covered in barriers from head to toe. She wore us out so much that on

Sat. I almost forgot to take Nathen to gym. we made it 20 min late, but we made it and he always has such fun. Even got a tern on the swing. After we came home and while James sleep off a hard nights work we washed and cleaned our cars.

Sunday I took the day to rest. All this may not sound like a lot to u all, but I am lazy and it is a lot for me.

Monday we went to swim placates and then to Target to pick up a book. I met a nice women there with kids about Trevor and Devon's age. We are doing a book study together. I am a little nerves about the hole realigns thing, but she is nice and it never hurts to become more educated in anything.

Today I sleep in thanks to James, went to ToysRus and finally got Devon's birthday present from with the money my dad sent. I had him talked into getting a really cool man that u should check out the body parts on, but Trevor had more influence and he got magnetic man instead. He is happy so I am too. We came home and played in the sprinkler to beet the heat and played with our toys. A good weak I think. Thanks to good friends as always.

2007-08-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

Costco is awesome. I got to return 35 dollars in stuff the boys couldn't eat and left with 27 dollars worth of food they can eat and a little extra in my pocket. How cool.

On another note still fiddling with the WVA paper work and have to tern in the paper work for the YMCA tomorrow. UGH I hate paper work. I still haven't finished my resamie even. I think part of me doesn't want to get that done. I am so scared to work again.

And the house is a mess. Probably will not clean it tell sat.

2007-07-31T11:15:00.000-07:00

Got to viset Daddy at work today

This is the Train we got to drive

Watching Daddy drive by

Trevor, Shelby and Devon

This is the Train they got drive

Nathe, Devon and Trevor

A quick snack while Daddy works.

Trevor and Devon going for a ride

Shelby is having her tern to drive

2007-07-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

I'm a Gryffindor!

"You belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart,Their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart."

Some days I just want a sandwich

2007-07-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

It is a topical day. Shelby even went home early. Yet I feel stressed and irritated. James would say it is lack of sex. That's his answer to every thing. My be part of it. I hate not being in the mood. I really want to be. Any how that is not the point.

Just can't seam to get it out. I am so angry about not having money, about the food stuff (even though I have had great support in this) some days I just want a sandwich. Trying to make wheat free, milk free bread today. I hope it works. Will keep u posted. So u would think as the bread is baking I would see some light, but no. I am doing all it takes not to be snappy with the kids. Mostly just giving them something to do and leaving the room. Seams to be working so far.

I am applying at the YMCA as well. I hope the extra money will help, but really don't know how to feel about any of it. I haven't worked out side my home in seven years. At least at the Y I can take my kids into class with me or have them in an activity at the same time. Even the day care is free while I work if it comes to that. I hope it doesn't. I don't want to put Nathen threw it. I am hoping it will replace me having to watch Shelby. I love the girl, but really am not getting paid what I need to have it take up 14 hours of most of my days. I do feel she needs the structure we can give, I just don't want to be tied down with her school schedule and her mom is doing nothing to change anything. I just don't know how to Handel any of it and James is stressed out about money and again I don't know what to do.

How did we get to this point. Was the secant car really so far out of our reach we are now swimming in debt. I feel so at felt over all of it. The car, school stuff, food, bills. And I feel helpless. I wish I could just cry and get it out, but no that doesn't happen ether.

Grumble grumble grumble. That's all folks.

Cave in the rain

2007-07-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Wednesday morning, and that is were I wanted to be. Just to crawl into my cave of anti socialness and sleep. Stay in bed, not get out of my PJ's all day and veg. But that was not to be.

Hurriedly got ready for swim class at the YMCA. Last class so couldn't miss that. Then of to Lory's. Who even in an off mood was as sweet as can be and still let us intrude on her home and time. I couldn't be more grateful. The kids had a blast and I learned a bit. Witch when I was leaving I didn't really get, but once it sank in. Wow! Lory knows her stuff and has been such a great comfort threw our transition from the land of non allergy to the land of no wheat and milk. With her help and a few others it has been more an adventure then a nightmare. So we had a great time. and I am glad we got out of the house. Rainy days can tern out good it seams.

Niki~ Lory's kitchen was clean when I left. Just thought u would like to know.

Normal

2007-07-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

Saturday Pancakes

So Saturday we had a little bit of normal. Found a pancake mix with no milk or gluten. Our pancake weekend breakfast is back. And none to soon. It has been quite a change for all of us. I don't remember ever going three weeks without cooking something premade and frozen. The boys seam to like the new foods we have been trying, but still haven't found a milk substitute they both like.
Marlen's terned out to be the place to be. I love that store. They even make a soy sausage James likes. Now if I can just convince him to keep eating this healthier way I will be thrilled. Have one and a half months to convince him. At least in the end I will no longer buy premade food with all the preservatives and all. He can't argue with that. And if the boys can have wheat and milk again we can still keep a heather diet and the gluten at a minimum. So in the end it is so much better for us all even if I had to be forced into it I like this new way of things in our home. James even mad salsa with the kids. All fresh veggies and they loved the time with there dad. Vary cool

Sarcasm in Bloom

2007-07-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I reluctantly cleaned my bathrooms. Not my favorite job, but well it has to be done. My little Nathen in all his joy watched Mommy scrub away and on occasion made a grab for a spay bottle to help. In witch I reply. "Don't touch it will make u sick" It is after saying this about three times and him pulling his hand away that on the fourth he simply smiled reached out and "Touched" the bottle with one finger. My mothers curs has come true. I have a kid "just like me"

Home for the 4Th

2007-07-05T15:23:00.000-07:00

The 4Th of July has been in debate at our house for some time. I wanted James home and he wanted to work. Yes we need the money and things are slow at work so I see his side, but I don't care. I want him home to help me blow things up.

So long story short. I WIN! James took the day off. We went out to lunch with his sister and then off to her house at the lake. Aside from putting up with Her and her DH making little snide remarks at each other and Cort wanting to do anything but play with his little cousins we had a great time. The kids had a wonderful time with bottle rockets. The older once would set them off and the younger once would chase after the sticks. And in true boy fashion Cort did this tell his finger blistered. And once the darkness hit we all got to see a wonderful show put on by the neighbors around the lake. First year we didn't buy any our self. It was loud and bright and a wonderful time.

Today we slept in, I cleaned the bathrooms and finished cleaning out my food supply. Now I just have to shop so the boys have something to eat. Niki and Lory have been such an asset with this hole allergy thing. So now I go threw the debate in my head weather to shop today or put it off tell tomorrow. mmmm tuffy.

And the Rain came down

2007-06-29T19:50:00.000-07:00

Today we finished the boys playroom/classroom. and with all the rain they will be putting it to good use.

We also got to the library today and made Planispheres. It was fun, but the man giving the class was a bit more into the stares then all the kids. We do now have a cool way to examine the stars. Just have to go were we can see them.

Hope we ahve some sun tomarrow. Need to send the kids out so I can cleen the floors. mmm maybe I'll put it off.

Just on of thous days

2007-06-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

should say one of thous weeks. I am just tired. Past the stage of wanting to cry at the drop of a hat, now I am numb. I don't know witch is worse. There is this acing under the numbness I can't put my finger on. A feeling of hopelessness. Feels so bleak and I never know when it is going to end. Last time it was only a weak, but before that it was four months. I don't miss the anger or sadness it is not being happy about anything. I can fake it with the best of them, but then I feel empty for doing it. Like I am lying to my family and friends. I just don't want them to feel bad just because I can't feel good. It normally takes a change of something. I moved the hole house around and it wasn't enough. I am going to change my vitamin intake. that helps some times an exercise more that helps too. It is just so hard to think strait rite now. It all feels so hopeless. The worst of it is I know it herts my kids. All I want to do is get away. To not be near any one. I isolate myself and the kids end up isolated too.
Maybe it is just the stress getting to me. James working all the time and we still have no money. I don't get it. How did this happen? I hate being broke. I hate him not being home and working so hard just to brake even at the end of the month. There has to be something better. I feel guilty for not working, but know I can't send the boys to school. It just isn't rite. SO James pays the price. Heck we all do. There has to be an answer. I just don't know and rite now have no energy to fined it.

To better days

Congrats to Trevor

2007-06-22T14:43:00.000-07:00

Devon, Trevor and Nathen
Trevors Graduation from Kindergarten

Trevor last day of school

Teacher Mrs. deVrease, Trevor and Justen

We are now free to do as we please

Truly a Women

2007-06-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

I started off yesterday in a bad mood having only found out the day before My MIL and Mathew would be coming to stay the night and the house was a mess. I clean the floors and dusted. Did our normal daily thing. Went to pizza hut for lunch then off to the are port to pick up Mom and Matt. James ashered me I would not have to make lunch for them or dinner. I had to do booth. We left at five thirty to head out to Kennedy's Talent show. The highlight of the day.

My spirits raised as all the kids were so cute. Kennedy is in 6Th grade and in the short time I have not seen her has terned into a beautiful young women. As she stood on stage I was amassed how pretty she was and that she is most certainly not the little girl I picture in my head when I think of her. She held the mic low and looked out at the audience, probably looking for her mom and dad, and as the music started nerves got the better of her. She whispered "Shit" for all to hear as the mic picked it up. Her face red and trying not to giggle she started to sing. She was lovely. I couldn't be prouder. Most definitely the highlight of the night.

Hand on u

2007-06-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

My latest pic Took while Nathen was nursing.

Tattoo

2007-06-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

We had lodes of fun at Graham's birthday party. Devon didn't want to take a bath for two days because he wanted to keep his Tattoos. I told him we had pics so he can take a bath now.

Mud Mountan Dam

2007-06-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

This is Mud Mountain Dam. We got to go there Friday with Trevor's school field trip.
Way Fun!!
View at the bottom of the trail

This is the view from the top.

Here is the trail. Lots of stares

They have four parks there. Trevor only knows how to climb on top of the monkey bars.

After all our fun.

Emergency Room

2007-06-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

<------- Nathens mended Noggen---

Last night while getting ready for bed Nathen slipped in the bathroom and smashed his head on the corner of the door. I rushed the boys out of the tub, but with James home he sent me and Nathen to the hospital and put the boys to bed.

I have to admit I was glad James was there for the initial shock. All I saw was blood and my breath leaving my body. Filled with gilt for letting this happen I sat in the emergency room waiting for them to see us. Nathen was great. Other then not wanting me to wipe the blood from his head he was happy as can be and playing with all the other injured patients waiting. (Who strangely were all there for there own reason, but lived on the same street as one another)

So to let u know after three hours Nathens head was glued together and he is fine. I am a very tired Mom and doing my best today not to be grumpy and short with the kids.

Oddly mostly mad at myself and James. Me for letting my baby get hurt and at James for doing nothing while I was at the hospital. He put the boys to bed and sat and plaid his game, So when I came home wanting to put Nathen to bed and relax with him. I instead had to put away dinner, run the dish washer, clean the blood from the bathroom were Nathen got hurt and straiten up the living room so it would be clean in the morning when Tami drops of Shelby. Instead of relaxing with James he had to pack his bag for work and make his lunch. I get so tired of being the only one who takes care of the house. At lease we are all in good health for the most part.

Been Thinking

2007-05-30T13:18:00.001-07:00

I know my head still Hertz.

Any how. Just wishing I had a better camera. Have an idea for a photo display and well my camera sucks. I need to get permission from friends too. It will not be there hole self, but parts of self's. Hands mostly. I love hands. Any how it is a woke in progress and only in my head.

I would like to have a big get together with every one and let the kids go art crazy. Buy one of thous big roils of paper and let them use there hands and feet to paint. Then just throw them in the sprinkler to wash off. I guess that one more thing to work on.

I do plan to take random photos and see what comes of it. I do get a good shot from time to time. I also like solutes pics, but have no idea how to do them. Will have to do some test. Just wish my camera would not be so temperamental and work when I want it too. mmmm to dream.

2007-05-27T21:49:00.001-07:00

Well good weak for the most part. Kids are still in one peace. Put together there pre school portfolios seam happy with them. I still have to do Nathen's baby book, but have to wait on buying more photo paper.

Niki and the kids came over for the night. That was fun. I hope they have as much fun here as we have with them here. Always worry they are going to get board. Really do like having them around. And have to get brave and head out to there place more. Probably think I am avoiding it, but really I am just lazy when it comes to the drive.

Oh and They brought the coolest craft. the boys loved it. I'll have to take pics. there are really neat little wooden toys.

So no fireworks, but a good weak. Just hope it is my allergy's making me sick rite now and not a cold. I hate to make them sick.

Crash Dream

2007-04-28T20:54:00.001-07:00

Music is playing, kids are singing, baby is sleeping.
The lite is red.
Stopped
A crash, movement, spinning, another crash we stop
The baby is crying, kids are screaming
The music keeps playing
Light are flashing, voices are calling
Kid are yelling, the baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Smock, voices, unable to move
The kids are yelling, the baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Fire, metal bending, glass braking, voices
My kids are calling, the baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Something worm on my face, water sprays over can't see
Kids are quiet, baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Voices, they took them,
Baby is crying far from me
I am worm, I can see, I am standing
The music keeps playing
Kids are safe, baby is safe
One last breath, I can rest, I am free
The music keeps playing

2007-04-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

Inspiration in many forms. Music is the challenge. Here is my Idea. Whether it ends in word or an adaptation of a photo or I may even draw again. It is a start.

It has been so long. I no longer know what I have inside. Hiding from what ever may criticize. It has been to long and I am so looking forward to making the most of what I have in me. My baby will play whether the notes make a song or just a sound he likes. I may be laking in skill, but I will not stop playing

No energy or time

2005-08-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

I am very tired witch is an understatement. Someone has sucked the energy out of my body and left me for dead to take care of two kids and get them to bed while dealing with heart burn. Yuck. Times like this I would like James home, but just kidding myself really. All he would do is be on the computer plains his game. I hate who ever invented computer games and the like. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. My luck it would be the same guy who invented spell check witch I can't live with out.

Kids are grate, just need the energy to keep up. It is only 8:30 and I should not be so tired. Part of it is thinking of work. I have five calls to make, plus my training call that's at least 5 1/2 hours of work tomorrow with two winy kids that miss there dad. I love Melaleuca and the stayin home and lovin it team, but am just getting started and used to the hours. I know only good will come of it though. I can always in good conscience do this business and know I am only helping others. So, now the kids call got to go. Thanks for the ear.

copied from Beckie thought it would be nice wast of time

2005-07-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

Put an "x" if you have ever done any of the following...
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) saw a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious injury
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) flown over a volcano in a helicopter
(x) been on a volcano
(x) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
( ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
( ) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) faked sick
(x) flashed someone
(x) mooned someone
(x) saw a therapist
(x) done the splits
( ) played spin the bottle
( ) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of apple juice in less than one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to someone you loved
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
(x) slept with a co-worker(work with my hubby)
(x) slept with anyone
(x) been married
( ) gotten divorced
(x) had children
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Notebook
(x) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been skiing/snowboarding
( ) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college
( ) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs
(x) tried killing yourself(hence therapy)
(x) fired a gun
(x) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
( ) gone or going to summer school
(x) swam a mile
( ) ran a 5K race
(x) played paintball
(x) realized you were w/ the wrong person after it was too late
( ) have no regrets
( ) ate a whole box of girl scout cookies by yourself

thnkas for wasting time with me :)

Born

2005-05-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

You Were Actually Born Under:

http://www.quizdiva.net/chinesehoroscopes/snake.gif"> %20color="#000000">Popular and crafty, you are a master at the art of seduction.You are intelligent and intuitive - and make a savvy businessperson.You live life to the fullest, even if it means maxing out your credit cards.Many people are secretly (and hopelessly) in love with you.
You are most compatible with a Rooster or Ox.

<><><>You font-size: color:black;>http://www.quizdiva.net/chinesehoroscopes/dog.gif'> color='#000000'>You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest.However, you don" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" a mood!
You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatyearwereyoubornunderquiz/">What Year Were You Born Under?

<><><>You font-size: color:black;>http://www.quizdiva.net/chinesehoroscopes/dog.gif'>color='#000000'>You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest.However, you don" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" a mood!

Interview Questions for Michelle

2005-05-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

1. What is your happiest memory?
2. Why have u decided to go into hygiene?
3. If u could live any were, were would it be? (Other planets are not an option)
4. If u are a loly pop what flavor would u be and why?
5. What is the favorite nick name u have been given in your life.

Answers

2005-05-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

Beckie's Questions:

1. Do you ever wish your life had come out a different way?

Well it old have been nice to win the lotto, but other then that I am happy.

2. Will you be disappointed if your bun in the oven turns out to be another boy?

No. I kinda think it is a boy so if it is I get the pleasure of being rite and if it is a girl well then I get what I was trying for. I like being rite :)

3. What do you like the most about your life right now?

I know this is corny, but feeling the baby move. I like living in the moment and not having to stress about tomorrow.

4. What do you regret the most?

Not learning how to spell better. I love spell check, but it takes to much time sometimes. And having morals. Would be so much easer to make it rich if I didn't

5. If you could have one wish granted, what would it be?

To live near my friends and family rather then having them all over the states and have every one finantaly secure so all we have to do is have fun. Screw work.
MEME RULES

Question people: Don't forget to add this to the bottom of your answers:MEME

RULES1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Just Ticks Me Off

2005-04-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

I know it has been some time sense I have written anything or even got on to read anything. But today I just had it. I am so tired of having to defend my choice to stay home with my kids. As if I am a freak and letting down society by doing so. Sick of being treated as if I have nothing of interest to say just because I don't have dumb ass co workers to complain about or a boss and that because I "only stay home" I couldn't possibly be up on what is happening in this world out side my door.

Today when my sister in law criticizes me and my friends by saying if I got a job instead of staying at home I would know what is happening in the world. She even had the nerve to send this to all of my friends and family how I had sent a corresponding e-mail to. I expect it from others, from some with out kids, or working mom's in general at times. I am used to the better then thou attitude they carry, but not from family or friends. She really hit below the belt. Nothing makes u better then any one on this earth and nothing gives u the rite to judge some once choice of living.

Why is it that if u are a mom and work out of the house u are shown admiration, supported, every one seams to know how hard it must be for u. I am not saying it is easy, but it isn't easy staying home either. We make do with one pay check. So our things are not always as nice. We struggle at times to get the bills paid. And yes I crave for some adult contact from time to time. To talk about anything other then my kids. But no on talks because I am only an at home mom what do I know and of what importance could what I have to say be.

Then u can't even talk to other stay at home mom's because lets face it. It is a privilege to stay home with the kids and we have no rite to complain. So we sit quietly feeling gilt when things over whelm us. When we just need a moment to be ourselves and not a mom. We are supposed to even though the working mom would never feel bad about putting her kids in day care or having a baby sitter for a night our with co workers. We are not aloud. So, now I am going to go, because it is just about bed time for the kids and time to clean up.

Just Ticks Me Off