And the Rain came down

Today we finished the boys playroom/classroom. and with all the rain they will be putting it to good use.

We also got to the library today and made Planispheres. It was fun, but the man giving the class was a bit more into the stares then all the kids. We do now have a cool way to examine the stars. Just have to go were we can see them.

Hope we ahve some sun tomarrow. Need to send the kids out so I can cleen the floors. mmm maybe I'll put it off.

Just on of thous days

should say one of thous weeks. I am just tired. Past the stage of wanting to cry at the drop of a hat, now I am numb. I don't know witch is worse. There is this acing under the numbness I can't put my finger on. A feeling of hopelessness. Feels so bleak and I never know when it is going to end. Last time it was only a weak, but before that it was four months. I don't miss the anger or sadness it is not being happy about anything. I can fake it with the best of them, but then I feel empty for doing it. Like I am lying to my family and friends. I just don't want them to feel bad just because I can't feel good. It normally takes a change of something. I moved the hole house around and it wasn't enough. I am going to change my vitamin intake. that helps some times an exercise more that helps too. It is just so hard to think strait rite now. It all feels so hopeless. The worst of it is I know it herts my kids. All I want to do is get away. To not be near any one. I isolate myself and the kids end up isolated too.
Maybe it is just the stress getting to me. James working all the time and we still have no money. I don't get it. How did this happen? I hate being broke. I hate him not being home and working so hard just to brake even at the end of the month. There has to be something better. I feel guilty for not working, but know I can't send the boys to school. It just isn't rite. SO James pays the price. Heck we all do. There has to be an answer. I just don't know and rite now have no energy to fined it.

To better days

Congrats to Trevor

Devon, Trevor and Nathen
Trevors Graduation from Kindergarten

Trevor last day of school

Teacher Mrs. deVrease, Trevor and Justen

We are now free to do as we please

Truly a Women

I started off yesterday in a bad mood having only found out the day before My MIL and Mathew would be coming to stay the night and the house was a mess. I clean the floors and dusted. Did our normal daily thing. Went to pizza hut for lunch then off to the are port to pick up Mom and Matt. James ashered me I would not have to make lunch for them or dinner. I had to do booth. We left at five thirty to head out to Kennedy's Talent show. The highlight of the day.

My spirits raised as all the kids were so cute. Kennedy is in 6Th grade and in the short time I have not seen her has terned into a beautiful young women. As she stood on stage I was amassed how pretty she was and that she is most certainly not the little girl I picture in my head when I think of her. She held the mic low and looked out at the audience, probably looking for her mom and dad, and as the music started nerves got the better of her. She whispered "Shit" for all to hear as the mic picked it up. Her face red and trying not to giggle she started to sing. She was lovely. I couldn't be prouder. Most definitely the highlight of the night.

Hand on u

My latest pic Took while Nathen was nursing.

Tattoo

We had lodes of fun at Graham's birthday party. Devon didn't want to take a bath for two days because he wanted to keep his Tattoos. I told him we had pics so he can take a bath now.

Mud Mountan Dam

This is Mud Mountain Dam. We got to go there Friday with Trevor's school field trip.
Way Fun!!
View at the bottom of the trail

This is the view from the top.

Here is the trail. Lots of stares

They have four parks there. Trevor only knows how to climb on top of the monkey bars.

After all our fun.

Emergency Room

<------- Nathens mended Noggen---













Last night while getting ready for bed Nathen slipped in the bathroom and smashed his head on the corner of the door. I rushed the boys out of the tub, but with James home he sent me and Nathen to the hospital and put the boys to bed.

I have to admit I was glad James was there for the initial shock. All I saw was blood and my breath leaving my body. Filled with gilt for letting this happen I sat in the emergency room waiting for them to see us. Nathen was great. Other then not wanting me to wipe the blood from his head he was happy as can be and playing with all the other injured patients waiting. (Who strangely were all there for there own reason, but lived on the same street as one another)

So to let u know after three hours Nathens head was glued together and he is fine. I am a very tired Mom and doing my best today not to be grumpy and short with the kids.

Oddly mostly mad at myself and James. Me for letting my baby get hurt and at James for doing nothing while I was at the hospital. He put the boys to bed and sat and plaid his game, So when I came home wanting to put Nathen to bed and relax with him. I instead had to put away dinner, run the dish washer, clean the blood from the bathroom were Nathen got hurt and straiten up the living room so it would be clean in the morning when Tami drops of Shelby. Instead of relaxing with James he had to pack his bag for work and make his lunch. I get so tired of being the only one who takes care of the house. At lease we are all in good health for the most part.