Just Ticks Me Off

I know it has been some time sense I have written anything or even got on to read anything. But today I just had it. I am so tired of having to defend my choice to stay home with my kids. As if I am a freak and letting down society by doing so. Sick of being treated as if I have nothing of interest to say just because I don't have dumb ass co workers to complain about or a boss and that because I "only stay home" I couldn't possibly be up on what is happening in this world out side my door.

Today when my sister in law criticizes me and my friends by saying if I got a job instead of staying at home I would know what is happening in the world. She even had the nerve to send this to all of my friends and family how I had sent a corresponding e-mail to. I expect it from others, from some with out kids, or working mom's in general at times. I am used to the better then thou attitude they carry, but not from family or friends. She really hit below the belt. Nothing makes u better then any one on this earth and nothing gives u the rite to judge some once choice of living.

Why is it that if u are a mom and work out of the house u are shown admiration, supported, every one seams to know how hard it must be for u. I am not saying it is easy, but it isn't easy staying home either. We make do with one pay check. So our things are not always as nice. We struggle at times to get the bills paid. And yes I crave for some adult contact from time to time. To talk about anything other then my kids. But no on talks because I am only an at home mom what do I know and of what importance could what I have to say be.

Then u can't even talk to other stay at home mom's because lets face it. It is a privilege to stay home with the kids and we have no rite to complain. So we sit quietly feeling gilt when things over whelm us. When we just need a moment to be ourselves and not a mom. We are supposed to even though the working mom would never feel bad about putting her kids in day care or having a baby sitter for a night our with co workers. We are not aloud. So, now I am going to go, because it is just about bed time for the kids and time to clean up.

Just Ticks Me Off

Wasting time

I should be out side playing with my kids, but I am here typing away. It is like a drug. Once I am on the computer I just can't seem to get myself off. I make up stuff to do. Like type stupid things no one else is interested in.
Things have been going good really. Morning sickness is gone. Yah!!!! My Melaleuca business is taking off. Really been fun doing it with my friend Heather and sister. I also really like the other women I am meeting. It has made me come out of my shell a little. I feel more usefully and as long as I can keep up the pass I hope to have all debt paid of at the end of the year and the boys school taken care of. Fun I know. I just want to be able to get a second car in good conscience that we have the money for it. This one car thing is not good. And James promise to get a second car is well going on four years now. Good thing I didn't' hold my breath.

TGIF

Has been a good weak, but I am tired. Starting this job and having the kids hanging on too has been a challenge. I do have five people under me now so I feel much better then I did the other day. It does feel good helping others better there health and home by getting all these toxins out of their lives. And hay I can make money doing it. Yahhh. The boys are getting on better too. They are more independent and I don't have to entertain them as much. So it is all working out. Have to admit I wasn't so certain a few weeks ago.

Went to the police station to visit James's sister. She is trained as a fire fighter, but I guess she can do police work too. The boys had fun seeing what a jail cell looked like, but she did stick us with the bill at lunch. Oh well. Found a Germen store near her work that has a baby lotion I just love. I smells so good and works grate for diaper rash. Have to wait tell James gets paid though. We had to get our brakes fixed last weak. 700 bucks. What a raw deal. And what can u do. U can't drive around with bad brakes. Well, I guess u can, but I wouldn't want to be on the rode when u do.

And that is the excitement I live. Also got the boys enrolled in preschool in Sep. Rite around when the baby is due. Now that is signed be fun. And it is Friday ... Hope the sun is out tomorrow too.

Business troubles

This sucks I am starting a home business and I really like it so far, but I keep getting people who say they want to sign up and when the date comes to do so they are not available. I wouldn't mined it from a stranger or if it just happened as a freak thing. Hay shit happens rite. But these two ladies are always doing this crap to me and not just with signing up but when we set a time to meat and have lunch or just get to gather they just don't show up, not even a call and there is always an excuse which sounds like bull shit to me. I have reliable costumers and I know there are more out there. I shouldn't let these two ladies spoil it for every one, but it pisses me off when I can depend on people. I take time out of my day for them and they don't bother to show up. I hate wasting time.

shameless promotion
just so u know my business is with Melaleuca a environing wellness company. They have grate products for your home, bath and body, make up, and vitamins witch are really grate. I use them in my home and have decided to promote the product. So I get to work from home and don't have to worry about shipping products or home party's. So I am looking for reliable people who would love the chance to have heather produce and a safer home for there kids while working from home. If any of u are interested out there let me know my web site is femdavila.com check it out :)

I need sex

I have reached a new place in my pregnancy. I am still not showing and the morning sickness is gone. I have also lost seven pounds and well my tummy looks nice and trim. Now I am energiesd and really don't feel prego. It will be nice to here the beating of the baby's heart on March first just to be shore it is there. My hubby is very happy with my amorous behavior, but it dose me little good when he is gone for days at a time at work. I think I need a boy friend, some one I can just use for sex. I mean it isn't like he can get me prego at this point. Should join a swinger sit or something. Frigen hormones suck. At least me dreams now are about getting sex and not about killing people. This is a nice change.

Instead

Well I just wrote a big long log about a bunch of crap like not being able to sleep and bad dreams, worried about the baby and all this junk, but I deleted it. I rather do this. And be happy instead.

Things that make me happy.
(yes I am lame)

1. Teddy bear picnic
2. Sleeping
3. My hubby playing with his boys.
4. My four year old counting to thirty and missing fifteen every time
5. When he finely remembers fifteen for the first time
6. My two year old saying Puyallup
7. Peanut butter and chocolate shakes.
8. Watching my kids dance.
9. Sex in the shower
10. Talking with a good friend
11. Apples
12. Liking pineapple even though I couldn't stand it for most of my life.
13. Bubble baths
14. My four year old watching TV upside down

and best of all
15. My two year old giving his older brother a hug, just to piss him off

Chocolate kiss

I had a kiss, just one and it was very unsatisfying. I can only have one because I only let the boys have one each and to be a good example I only have on. Now I am left craving chocolate and can do nothing about it. :(
And it started off as such a good day.

Putting Things Off

Truly a learned art form from high school or probably sooner. Putting things off is a grate thing I enjoy. It is wonderfull finding new things "Such as Blogging" to do instead of what I need to do. I should be making dinner for my kids... Poor things. I haven't cook a dinner in three days. Thank goodness for fast food, but I guess today I will have to give in if I don't want my kids to be chunky monkeys. So, today I cleaned my house in order to avoid making a phone call do make a doctor appointments. I hate meeting new doctors. I am going to have to or I will cetch hell from my mother in law, but mmm Monday will do fine for that.

Yes I fall in to the dreaded Hat the mother-in-law group. But I don't think I am alone when it comes to not liking this women. She is just mean some times and has to have everything her way. OK before I get mean I will stop new subject.

I would like to say thinks to Michelle for letting me get preachy on with her a little today. I know I can go ever board, but it helped me put a few thing in perspective to verbalize some of it. So thanks.
well I got to make dinner :P Lilo and Stich is almost over so I will be in demand soon. Got to love medicating my kids with TV just to get a brake.

China Set

I got my Grandma's china set today. She past on a little over a year ago and my brother has been holding it sense then. I am so happy to have it now. And grateful to my mom for sending it to me. I miss my grandma very much and the china has such grate memories attached to it. She could always make me feel at home even when things were bad. Not having her to talk to at times has been hard, but it has been a long time sense she had a bad case of Alsatians and wasn't all there in the last few years. Still it is nice to have a peace of her (so to speak) here. I know how much she loved the set and My sister and I always enjoyed sipping hot coco from the little cups.
It was a nice mood boaster as well. Been feeling down lately. Blame it on the prego hormones or all the rain I guess. Watched a show about solders who didn't make it home from this alfull war and there last letters home yesterday. Well, that didn't help. I have had my head in the clouds about this hole war. Just don't want to face it. So, I tern off the news and avoid the front page of the paper. And pray they will come home soon and toughs who don't have not died in vain. I try not to think of the friends I have lost touch with over the years and what them and their family's must be facing now. Praying seems so useless at times. And so I am down in the dumps. Oh well, I am going to do some gardening with my kids. That is always fun.

What men Deserve

1. To have blue balls ones in there lives.
2. To be left home with at lead to kids and no car for a weak.
3. To be treated like a five year old when they can't figure out how to pick up there socks.
4. The right to cry
5. A good kick in the but for trying to be macho all the time.
6. To have to take birthcontrole pills just for one month of there lives.
7. To have love and loose it just once so they know when they have a good thing next time
8. To be kissed by someone with a beard
9. Woken up every night by a hungry child or one that needs help to make it to the potty
10. To have some one to sleep next to at night even if it is a dog
11. Punched in the boob after getting a sun Bern
12. To pass a kidney stone (closest thing to child birth my butt)
13. The right to ask for anal sex NOT GET IT
14. To wear a dress in winter
15. To wear nine inch heals and have to walk for a mile because we don't want to pay for parking
16. To be thanked when the do really try to do a good job
17. To be nagged when they don't
18. Have some one bye them a drink
19. Wear make up on a hot sunny day
and last but not least
20. To be beaten at there own game

Beep beep Beep

This is what I hear in the back ground as my four year old plays with his cars. The boys are being good for a moment so now I can breath. I am tired... Can't sleep at night. Keep waking up at three or four in the morning and end up just lieing there tell the boys get up at seven. This sucks and each time I complain to my hubby he seas "Well u wanted to have this baby" as if he was a complete victim of my advances in making it :P Men suck.

Heart burn sucks too. I like spice and can no longer eat it without a having to pay for it.

Can't figure out how to put pic's on this thing either. Computer illiteracy sucks too :P

thanks for listening

Bad Play

I was once told that if u think of the worst thing that could ever happen it probably won't. I was five and some how this got distorted in my little five year old brain. So now I have these little plays that go on in my head and now that I am Prego they are becoming sharper. I imagine the most horrible things. Car crashes an all my family gone in a flash. The lost of loved ones, or the anger and anxiety of killing some one who pissed me off with my bare hands. It is so real. I cry, have anxiety fits, and angry rage. In the end I wipe my tears and no one is the wiser. I feel better because it is never as bad as u think it could be. Though I wonder if putting myself though such pain is worth it. Thanks for listening.

It and Me

So for all to know, My hubby and I foudn out on Dec. 30th we will be expecting a new baby some time in Sep. We are very happy about it and I am hopping It is a girl. We have two boys Trevor just ternd 4 Dec 29th and Devon who will be 3 in May. So far It has been making me very hungry, tyerd, and moody. Witch is somthing my Hubby thinks is not form It, but a cronic problem for me :P screw him :) Well maybe not that is how It came along. Truly I love him, but I am moody and hungry rite now. So that si were the blog comes in. I can b!&^% and mone and my hubby will not have to take the brunt of it. I hope this can be the start of a lovly thing:)
PS don't write about my spelling I knwo it sucks. And I am to computer inept to know how to use spell check :P