Been Thinking

I know my head still Hertz.

Any how. Just wishing I had a better camera. Have an idea for a photo display and well my camera sucks. I need to get permission from friends too. It will not be there hole self, but parts of self's. Hands mostly. I love hands. Any how it is a woke in progress and only in my head.

I would like to have a big get together with every one and let the kids go art crazy. Buy one of thous big roils of paper and let them use there hands and feet to paint. Then just throw them in the sprinkler to wash off. I guess that one more thing to work on.

I do plan to take random photos and see what comes of it. I do get a good shot from time to time. I also like solutes pics, but have no idea how to do them. Will have to do some test. Just wish my camera would not be so temperamental and work when I want it too. mmmm to dream.

Well good weak for the most part. Kids are still in one peace. Put together there pre school portfolios seam happy with them. I still have to do Nathen's baby book, but have to wait on buying more photo paper.

Niki and the kids came over for the night. That was fun. I hope they have as much fun here as we have with them here. Always worry they are going to get board. Really do like having them around. And have to get brave and head out to there place more. Probably think I am avoiding it, but really I am just lazy when it comes to the drive.

Oh and They brought the coolest craft. the boys loved it. I'll have to take pics. there are really neat little wooden toys.

So no fireworks, but a good weak. Just hope it is my allergy's making me sick rite now and not a cold. I hate to make them sick.

Crash Dream

Music is playing, kids are singing, baby is sleeping.
The lite is red.
Stopped
A crash, movement, spinning, another crash we stop
The baby is crying, kids are screaming
The music keeps playing
Light are flashing, voices are calling
Kid are yelling, the baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Smock, voices, unable to move
The kids are yelling, the baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Fire, metal bending, glass braking, voices
My kids are calling, the baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Something worm on my face, water sprays over can't see
Kids are quiet, baby is crying
The music keeps playing
Voices, they took them,
Baby is crying far from me
I am worm, I can see, I am standing
The music keeps playing
Kids are safe, baby is safe
One last breath, I can rest, I am free
The music keeps playing

Inspiration in many forms. Music is the challenge. Here is my Idea. Whether it ends in word or an adaptation of a photo or I may even draw again. It is a start.

It has been so long. I no longer know what I have inside. Hiding from what ever may criticize. It has been to long and I am so looking forward to making the most of what I have in me. My baby will play whether the notes make a song or just a sound he likes. I may be laking in skill, but I will not stop playing

No energy or time

I am very tired witch is an understatement. Someone has sucked the energy out of my body and left me for dead to take care of two kids and get them to bed while dealing with heart burn. Yuck. Times like this I would like James home, but just kidding myself really. All he would do is be on the computer plains his game. I hate who ever invented computer games and the like. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. My luck it would be the same guy who invented spell check witch I can't live with out.

Kids are grate, just need the energy to keep up. It is only 8:30 and I should not be so tired. Part of it is thinking of work. I have five calls to make, plus my training call that's at least 5 1/2 hours of work tomorrow with two winy kids that miss there dad. I love Melaleuca and the stayin home and lovin it team, but am just getting started and used to the hours. I know only good will come of it though. I can always in good conscience do this business and know I am only helping others. So, now the kids call got to go. Thanks for the ear.

copied from Beckie thought it would be nice wast of time

Put an "x" if you have ever done any of the following...
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) saw a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious injury
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) flown over a volcano in a helicopter
(x) been on a volcano
(x) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
( ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
( ) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) faked sick
(x) flashed someone
(x) mooned someone
(x) saw a therapist
(x) done the splits
( ) played spin the bottle
( ) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of apple juice in less than one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to someone you loved
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
(x) slept with a co-worker(work with my hubby)
(x) slept with anyone
(x) been married
( ) gotten divorced
(x) had children
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Notebook
(x) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been skiing/snowboarding
( ) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college
( ) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs
(x) tried killing yourself(hence therapy)
(x) fired a gun
(x) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
( ) gone or going to summer school
(x) swam a mile
( ) ran a 5K race
(x) played paintball
(x) realized you were w/ the wrong person after it was too late
( ) have no regrets
( ) ate a whole box of girl scout cookies by yourself

thnkas for wasting time with me :)

Born

You Were Actually Born Under:

http://www.quizdiva.net/chinesehoroscopes/snake.gif"> %20color="#000000">Popular and crafty, you are a master at the art of seduction.You are intelligent and intuitive - and make a savvy businessperson.You live life to the fullest, even if it means maxing out your credit cards.Many people are secretly (and hopelessly) in love with you. You are most compatible with a Rooster or Ox.

<><><>You font-size: color:black;>http://www.quizdiva.net/chinesehoroscopes/dog.gif'> color='#000000'>You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest.However, you don" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" a mood! You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatyearwereyoubornunderquiz/">What Year Were You Born Under?

<><><>You font-size: color:black;>http://www.quizdiva.net/chinesehoroscopes/dog.gif'>color='#000000'>You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest.However, you don" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" a mood!

Interview Questions for Michelle

1. What is your happiest memory?
2. Why have u decided to go into hygiene?
3. If u could live any were, were would it be? (Other planets are not an option)
4. If u are a loly pop what flavor would u be and why?
5. What is the favorite nick name u have been given in your life.

Answers

Beckie's Questions:

1. Do you ever wish your life had come out a different way?

Well it old have been nice to win the lotto, but other then that I am happy.

2. Will you be disappointed if your bun in the oven turns out to be another boy?

No. I kinda think it is a boy so if it is I get the pleasure of being rite and if it is a girl well then I get what I was trying for. I like being rite :)

3. What do you like the most about your life right now?

I know this is corny, but feeling the baby move. I like living in the moment and not having to stress about tomorrow.

4. What do you regret the most?

Not learning how to spell better. I love spell check, but it takes to much time sometimes. And having morals. Would be so much easer to make it rich if I didn't

5. If you could have one wish granted, what would it be?

To live near my friends and family rather then having them all over the states and have every one finantaly secure so all we have to do is have fun. Screw work.
MEME RULES

Question people: Don't forget to add this to the bottom of your answers:MEME

RULES1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Just Ticks Me Off

I know it has been some time sense I have written anything or even got on to read anything. But today I just had it. I am so tired of having to defend my choice to stay home with my kids. As if I am a freak and letting down society by doing so. Sick of being treated as if I have nothing of interest to say just because I don't have dumb ass co workers to complain about or a boss and that because I "only stay home" I couldn't possibly be up on what is happening in this world out side my door.

Today when my sister in law criticizes me and my friends by saying if I got a job instead of staying at home I would know what is happening in the world. She even had the nerve to send this to all of my friends and family how I had sent a corresponding e-mail to. I expect it from others, from some with out kids, or working mom's in general at times. I am used to the better then thou attitude they carry, but not from family or friends. She really hit below the belt. Nothing makes u better then any one on this earth and nothing gives u the rite to judge some once choice of living.

Why is it that if u are a mom and work out of the house u are shown admiration, supported, every one seams to know how hard it must be for u. I am not saying it is easy, but it isn't easy staying home either. We make do with one pay check. So our things are not always as nice. We struggle at times to get the bills paid. And yes I crave for some adult contact from time to time. To talk about anything other then my kids. But no on talks because I am only an at home mom what do I know and of what importance could what I have to say be.

Then u can't even talk to other stay at home mom's because lets face it. It is a privilege to stay home with the kids and we have no rite to complain. So we sit quietly feeling gilt when things over whelm us. When we just need a moment to be ourselves and not a mom. We are supposed to even though the working mom would never feel bad about putting her kids in day care or having a baby sitter for a night our with co workers. We are not aloud. So, now I am going to go, because it is just about bed time for the kids and time to clean up.

Just Ticks Me Off

Wasting time

I should be out side playing with my kids, but I am here typing away. It is like a drug. Once I am on the computer I just can't seem to get myself off. I make up stuff to do. Like type stupid things no one else is interested in.
Things have been going good really. Morning sickness is gone. Yah!!!! My Melaleuca business is taking off. Really been fun doing it with my friend Heather and sister. I also really like the other women I am meeting. It has made me come out of my shell a little. I feel more usefully and as long as I can keep up the pass I hope to have all debt paid of at the end of the year and the boys school taken care of. Fun I know. I just want to be able to get a second car in good conscience that we have the money for it. This one car thing is not good. And James promise to get a second car is well going on four years now. Good thing I didn't' hold my breath.

TGIF

Has been a good weak, but I am tired. Starting this job and having the kids hanging on too has been a challenge. I do have five people under me now so I feel much better then I did the other day. It does feel good helping others better there health and home by getting all these toxins out of their lives. And hay I can make money doing it. Yahhh. The boys are getting on better too. They are more independent and I don't have to entertain them as much. So it is all working out. Have to admit I wasn't so certain a few weeks ago.

Went to the police station to visit James's sister. She is trained as a fire fighter, but I guess she can do police work too. The boys had fun seeing what a jail cell looked like, but she did stick us with the bill at lunch. Oh well. Found a Germen store near her work that has a baby lotion I just love. I smells so good and works grate for diaper rash. Have to wait tell James gets paid though. We had to get our brakes fixed last weak. 700 bucks. What a raw deal. And what can u do. U can't drive around with bad brakes. Well, I guess u can, but I wouldn't want to be on the rode when u do.

And that is the excitement I live. Also got the boys enrolled in preschool in Sep. Rite around when the baby is due. Now that is signed be fun. And it is Friday ... Hope the sun is out tomorrow too.

Business troubles

This sucks I am starting a home business and I really like it so far, but I keep getting people who say they want to sign up and when the date comes to do so they are not available. I wouldn't mined it from a stranger or if it just happened as a freak thing. Hay shit happens rite. But these two ladies are always doing this crap to me and not just with signing up but when we set a time to meat and have lunch or just get to gather they just don't show up, not even a call and there is always an excuse which sounds like bull shit to me. I have reliable costumers and I know there are more out there. I shouldn't let these two ladies spoil it for every one, but it pisses me off when I can depend on people. I take time out of my day for them and they don't bother to show up. I hate wasting time.

shameless promotion
just so u know my business is with Melaleuca a environing wellness company. They have grate products for your home, bath and body, make up, and vitamins witch are really grate. I use them in my home and have decided to promote the product. So I get to work from home and don't have to worry about shipping products or home party's. So I am looking for reliable people who would love the chance to have heather produce and a safer home for there kids while working from home. If any of u are interested out there let me know my web site is femdavila.com check it out :)

I need sex

I have reached a new place in my pregnancy. I am still not showing and the morning sickness is gone. I have also lost seven pounds and well my tummy looks nice and trim. Now I am energiesd and really don't feel prego. It will be nice to here the beating of the baby's heart on March first just to be shore it is there. My hubby is very happy with my amorous behavior, but it dose me little good when he is gone for days at a time at work. I think I need a boy friend, some one I can just use for sex. I mean it isn't like he can get me prego at this point. Should join a swinger sit or something. Frigen hormones suck. At least me dreams now are about getting sex and not about killing people. This is a nice change.

Instead

Well I just wrote a big long log about a bunch of crap like not being able to sleep and bad dreams, worried about the baby and all this junk, but I deleted it. I rather do this. And be happy instead.

Things that make me happy.
(yes I am lame)

1. Teddy bear picnic
2. Sleeping
3. My hubby playing with his boys.
4. My four year old counting to thirty and missing fifteen every time
5. When he finely remembers fifteen for the first time
6. My two year old saying Puyallup
7. Peanut butter and chocolate shakes.
8. Watching my kids dance.
9. Sex in the shower
10. Talking with a good friend
11. Apples
12. Liking pineapple even though I couldn't stand it for most of my life.
13. Bubble baths
14. My four year old watching TV upside down

and best of all
15. My two year old giving his older brother a hug, just to piss him off

Chocolate kiss

I had a kiss, just one and it was very unsatisfying. I can only have one because I only let the boys have one each and to be a good example I only have on. Now I am left craving chocolate and can do nothing about it. :(
And it started off as such a good day.

Putting Things Off

Truly a learned art form from high school or probably sooner. Putting things off is a grate thing I enjoy. It is wonderfull finding new things "Such as Blogging" to do instead of what I need to do. I should be making dinner for my kids... Poor things. I haven't cook a dinner in three days. Thank goodness for fast food, but I guess today I will have to give in if I don't want my kids to be chunky monkeys. So, today I cleaned my house in order to avoid making a phone call do make a doctor appointments. I hate meeting new doctors. I am going to have to or I will cetch hell from my mother in law, but mmm Monday will do fine for that.

Yes I fall in to the dreaded Hat the mother-in-law group. But I don't think I am alone when it comes to not liking this women. She is just mean some times and has to have everything her way. OK before I get mean I will stop new subject.

I would like to say thinks to Michelle for letting me get preachy on with her a little today. I know I can go ever board, but it helped me put a few thing in perspective to verbalize some of it. So thanks.
well I got to make dinner :P Lilo and Stich is almost over so I will be in demand soon. Got to love medicating my kids with TV just to get a brake.

China Set

I got my Grandma's china set today. She past on a little over a year ago and my brother has been holding it sense then. I am so happy to have it now. And grateful to my mom for sending it to me. I miss my grandma very much and the china has such grate memories attached to it. She could always make me feel at home even when things were bad. Not having her to talk to at times has been hard, but it has been a long time sense she had a bad case of Alsatians and wasn't all there in the last few years. Still it is nice to have a peace of her (so to speak) here. I know how much she loved the set and My sister and I always enjoyed sipping hot coco from the little cups.
It was a nice mood boaster as well. Been feeling down lately. Blame it on the prego hormones or all the rain I guess. Watched a show about solders who didn't make it home from this alfull war and there last letters home yesterday. Well, that didn't help. I have had my head in the clouds about this hole war. Just don't want to face it. So, I tern off the news and avoid the front page of the paper. And pray they will come home soon and toughs who don't have not died in vain. I try not to think of the friends I have lost touch with over the years and what them and their family's must be facing now. Praying seems so useless at times. And so I am down in the dumps. Oh well, I am going to do some gardening with my kids. That is always fun.

What men Deserve

1. To have blue balls ones in there lives.
2. To be left home with at lead to kids and no car for a weak.
3. To be treated like a five year old when they can't figure out how to pick up there socks.
4. The right to cry
5. A good kick in the but for trying to be macho all the time.
6. To have to take birthcontrole pills just for one month of there lives.
7. To have love and loose it just once so they know when they have a good thing next time
8. To be kissed by someone with a beard
9. Woken up every night by a hungry child or one that needs help to make it to the potty
10. To have some one to sleep next to at night even if it is a dog
11. Punched in the boob after getting a sun Bern
12. To pass a kidney stone (closest thing to child birth my butt)
13. The right to ask for anal sex NOT GET IT
14. To wear a dress in winter
15. To wear nine inch heals and have to walk for a mile because we don't want to pay for parking
16. To be thanked when the do really try to do a good job
17. To be nagged when they don't
18. Have some one bye them a drink
19. Wear make up on a hot sunny day
and last but not least
20. To be beaten at there own game

Beep beep Beep

This is what I hear in the back ground as my four year old plays with his cars. The boys are being good for a moment so now I can breath. I am tired... Can't sleep at night. Keep waking up at three or four in the morning and end up just lieing there tell the boys get up at seven. This sucks and each time I complain to my hubby he seas "Well u wanted to have this baby" as if he was a complete victim of my advances in making it :P Men suck.

Heart burn sucks too. I like spice and can no longer eat it without a having to pay for it.

Can't figure out how to put pic's on this thing either. Computer illiteracy sucks too :P

thanks for listening