Better late then Never

With the get together tomarrow I figerd I should really get these up. It was very stresful to have Mellissa over and the kids, but some how I didn't kill any one by food poisaning or other meens on hand.

Don't they look happy

Finaly get to open this thing then they make him look at the card

What it is all about

One for Great Grandma

One extra Presant this year

Tomarrow is the last day of the year. Plan to see it out with a smile.

Happy New Year

Silent Night

The kids are sleeping. Been sitting drinking coco and reading by the Christmas Tree. Sees like yesterday we were in the yard playing in the sprinkler. Just feeling hopeful and helpless all at the same time. The Weather is cold and wet and I have been wishing for snow. But then I hate driving in snow so maybe not. It has been such an odd year. I wonder what the new one has in store.

To good to be true

It lasted six days. eather I wasn't home or she wasn't home or James was here to take the brunt. Well, he is at work and she is here. I have to bake for tomarrows Family lunch and so am stuck with her. If I make it to the end of the day before kicking her out it will be a maricle. I even bitched on CTT, but I am still mad. What rite does she have?

Heres the story

I just can't tack another day of this shit. DS1 is chewing on a paper clip. I ask him to put it away and a fit starts. I place him in time out, but he is full of spit and fire so I have him hold his arms above his head. This is a step proseder. if he cooled down he wouldn't have his hands up. It is uncomfertable, but not torcher. Not like I spanked him or hit him. Just told him to hold his hands up. In one min he was colm and out of time out. This is what works for my kids. It dosn't hert them. Trevor and I talk and all is well. Tell MIL pipes up. "Thats child abuse, your an adalt u should know better." This coming from a women who would hit her kids with what ever was at hand at the time. And then she gets on me about how I treat the girl I watch dering the weak as well. Um, I never lay a hand on my kids. If they say there arms hurt I let them rest them. They are never up for more then a min or two. well exept the little girl. SHe can stand there all day. Dosn't seem to bother her. BUt if it gets her to swalow her food and not rot out her teath then I am doing it and her Mom knows that is how we handle things here as well. It is not My MIL fuckingbuissness adn I am tierd of holding my mouth shut. SHe talkes behined my bake about me like I am not going to hear about it. I can take most things, but do not tell me I am hurting my kids. I know my kids I know what they need. If they were starved, black and blue, put down, and treated meen. then open your mouth, but for having him hold his hands up for one min. GO fuck yourself. I am raging rite now. She knows thats the one butten I will not talerat. You do not tell me how to be a parent. I didn't ask.

There has been other stuff, but this one was the kicker. I so want the next two days to be over. I so don't want to be near her and really don't want to go to the family dinner. Great her and my SIL picking on me together. At least they will have fun. I wish I had an excuse to get out of the house. James to be here.

Heart Beat

Silence as I wait for James to come home with a snack. Probably fries. Sitting reading, enjoying the moment. A little drink hitting my head and the light tingle as I feel my heart beat. The neighbors playing music. Mormons they will tern it off soon and put there son and his friend to bed. I can hear my house humm, the dishwasher ticking as it heat dries. And a thumping that can only be discibed as a heart beat. My home pulsing in rhythm and peace. Alive with us resting insides its walls.