Monday, July 23, 2007

Some days I just want a sandwich

It is a topical day. Shelby even went home early. Yet I feel stressed and irritated. James would say it is lack of sex. That's his answer to every thing. My be part of it. I hate not being in the mood. I really want to be. Any how that is not the point.

Just can't seam to get it out. I am so angry about not having money, about the food stuff (even though I have had great support in this) some days I just want a sandwich. Trying to make wheat free, milk free bread today. I hope it works. Will keep u posted. So u would think as the bread is baking I would see some light, but no. I am doing all it takes not to be snappy with the kids. Mostly just giving them something to do and leaving the room. Seams to be working so far.

I am applying at the YMCA as well. I hope the extra money will help, but really don't know how to feel about any of it. I haven't worked out side my home in seven years. At least at the Y I can take my kids into class with me or have them in an activity at the same time. Even the day care is free while I work if it comes to that. I hope it doesn't. I don't want to put Nathen threw it. I am hoping it will replace me having to watch Shelby. I love the girl, but really am not getting paid what I need to have it take up 14 hours of most of my days. I do feel she needs the structure we can give, I just don't want to be tied down with her school schedule and her mom is doing nothing to change anything. I just don't know how to Handel any of it and James is stressed out about money and again I don't know what to do.

How did we get to this point. Was the secant car really so far out of our reach we are now swimming in debt. I feel so at felt over all of it. The car, school stuff, food, bills. And I feel helpless. I wish I could just cry and get it out, but no that doesn't happen ether.

Grumble grumble grumble. That's all folks.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

The second car kicked our asses.

You and I live in a mortgage hell part of the country. Doesn't it piss you off that your dh makes a GREAT living but because we GASP wanted to buy a home, we lose allllllllllllll the money?

We don't have houses, we have money pits. Big pits, into which we throw money we have lit on fire.

I didn't know that about the Y. I will be applying. Childcare is what holds me back!

Marie said...

Same here. I don't wnat to pay for some one to raise my kids for me. It is nice they offer it for free and I am rite there in the bilding if not in the same room.