Bad Play

I was once told that if u think of the worst thing that could ever happen it probably won't. I was five and some how this got distorted in my little five year old brain. So now I have these little plays that go on in my head and now that I am Prego they are becoming sharper. I imagine the most horrible things. Car crashes an all my family gone in a flash. The lost of loved ones, or the anger and anxiety of killing some one who pissed me off with my bare hands. It is so real. I cry, have anxiety fits, and angry rage. In the end I wipe my tears and no one is the wiser. I feel better because it is never as bad as u think it could be. Though I wonder if putting myself though such pain is worth it. Thanks for listening.