New Look

So if u havn't already seen her it is my new look.

Didn't James do a great job.

Puyallup

We got to go on Wednsday. It was a nice cool day and no rain. We got the dizzy pass and the boys put it to great use. We ait to much. I got an upset tummy from the rides and we all had a wonderful time.

Hi Daddy

Look no hands

Nathen loved being big like Trevor

I love his face in this one

He Cut his Hair

Nathen Got ahold of James Razer Today

So I had to Shave his head

He keeps tuching his head. Think he likes it.

Trip with Daddy

So another fun day of no School. We went up to Blaine by the Canadian border on monday. We got to look for shels learn about contry borders, difrent flags and that Canida has no Presidant so Deovn dosn't wan tto live there. (He is going to be presadent some day u see.) We checked a fountan and leand why the water falowed the rock and didn't fall strat down. And when all was doen we had Greek food for the first time. and found it on the map along with china (Trevor likes chinies food better) when we got home. I love not goign to school.

When I go thoem I had a call from there teacher becouse I forgot to put in there attendance. Are they nuts. Oh well, I'll just put what ever the hell I like. As long as it is getting doen who cares how long it takes. Really

Well we have been surviving. Nathen's Birthday flew in and out. we didn't have a party, just didn't have the energy for it, but he loved opening the gifts James and I got him and April and the girls singing Happy Birthday to him on speaker phone.

We found out we can do one weeks worth of the WAVA home school stuff in two days. Not even two bizzy day. So I am no longer concerned about adding on more. The boys do seam to like being home. I just wish the YMCA would get on the ball with there home school program so they can play there. Never dealt well with disorganization.

My grandpa went back in the hospital. This time with fluid on his heart. Once again they say he will be fine, but I so just want to go home. Oct can't come fast enough. Money runes our lives again and there never seams to be enough. I struggle with my desire to home school and be home with the kids or work and help James out. Not that I have any skills in anything. Maybe just a weak at the bunny ranch in Nevada would help Just trying to get out of this funk before the bad weather hits and makes it harder.

Some pics I been playing with

My two year old did have a happy birthday.
Tami and Shelby stopped by with his gift
He jsut loved opening it

Rain

Everyone ells wrote about it so here is my version. James and I were enjoying the new light breeze coming threw the window way past when we should have been asleep. And watching the newz and herd announced "real thunderstorms" for our aria. It was about two min before the thunder crashed. Some how my kids sleep threw all this even Nathen. It was so cool and if I closed my eyes I could almost be home in Michigan listening to the rain pore and the thunder roll.

Porn Movie at my house

Last Saturday night I got my kids to bed and settled to take a bath and read. At I entered my room I herd my neighbors voice. I didn't think much of this, but did got to close my room window so not to over hear what they were saying or give them a show as I got into the tub (not that they look, but u know) It was then I saw flashing lights on coming from the opposite side of the fence in my yard. It is nothing but a old barn and government land they are going to build a rood on some day back there. I herd women talking and more flashes. Strange. Probably kids. I closed my windows and took my bath. By the time I got out all was quiet in the back and I went to bed with out a secant thought tell hanging out with my neighbor a few nights ago.
It was there voices I herd, but not them in the back ( I didn't think it was, but what is was was a shock) Not just kids. Apparently an enter film crew. two not so dressed ladies, one with blue hair they tell me and a man on a mattress in the Field. Yep Filming a pron movie. How cool I wish I had checked it out would have been more fun than a bath.
Now I have to check out all the new porns coming out with chicks with blue hair. See if I can see my house in the back ground or here my neighbors talking behind the cheesy music they always play. Cool one more reason to watch Porn :) And sense they got a better look at them when they ran into them at the store latter that night I guess I will have to have them over for a movie night just to make certain it is the rite girls.

I Feel Sick

My mom called. Grandpa is in the hospital. He is OK will go home on Monday. Mild heart attack. I want to go home. I don't want to be in WA any more. I just want to be home. I know he is going to be OK ... it doesn't help. Oct. is to far. My family is to far. I feel so alone here. I hate saying that. I don't want to belittle James and my friends here or his family ether.

I just can't rap myself around things rite now. I feel in a panic all the time. I am on edge and today was the worst yet. I don't know how to get this better. I want to yell and today i did at the kids. I feel honorable about it. They didn't deserve the explosion. Every thing is in a state of transition and I don't know if it is for the better. I am tired of being scared, feeling like I am making a mistake. Today was just bad.

Tagged

I got tagged by Lory, this time by Louisa over at Osgiliath Is Overrun. Can't say I am thrilled to get a tag, but I like updating my blog and find it difficult to do so in the summer. A meme lets me fill the day when I really have too much going on in real time to wrote a concise blog.

RULES - Post rules before giving the facts - Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves - People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules - At the end of the your blog you need to tag eight people and list their names - Leave them a comment on their blog, telling them they have been tagged and not to forget to read your blog.

1. I guess one of my weird things is not looking in a mirror or out a window at night. I am always scared some one will be standing behind me or staring back threw the darkened glass even on the secant floor.

2. I put in my application at the YMCA today. I am exited and petrified at the same time. I do not adapt well to change or at least not easily. I like having things a certain way and not changing most of the time. This is way out of my comfort zone. I haven't worked out side the home for seven years. I am exited to possibly be getting a job I really want working with kids, but scared to have taken on such a changing. Yikes what was I thinking?

3. Now for the fun stuff. I am so exited to be home schooling this year. I do have concerned about being on my own with the kids all the time. When James is out of town I can get really lonely for him and adult conversation. But I am thrilled to have the opportunity to have them home to learn as they need to and in there own stile. I am so exited to watch them lite up when they get it and let them know it is OK if they need more time. I can't wait to learn with my children as they see things in ways I never would think to see them on my own. I am so grate full to have loving family and friends who have supported me in this choice. Gosh now i feel like crying.

4. My favorite Season is Fall. I love the crisp air and the color of the leaves. The sound they make under my feet as I walk. The smell of apple blossoms in MI. I can't wait to be home and taste the bitter air. I love sipping cider. Its heat in my hands and on my lips as I sip against the cool bite from the wind. Along with a fresh donut of cores.

5. I like to people watch. To see someone when they think they are not being seen. I like to watch friends chat and how they act with each other. The loving touch or the soft giggle at a bad jock. Or arguing and not seeing any one ells around them, but the one they are with. Young love and teens who think the world is all about them and why not. I like to watch people reading and see the joy or boredom in they face as the move on to the next page. I also like to see the photo in the moment. People can be so beautiful when they aren't looking to be seen.

6. (Lory did write this, but it is nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way) Sometimes I really feel like I am dreaming and that if someone wakes me up, I will find that my wonderful life was really just in my imagination.

7. I tend to look for the best in every thing and every one. I have only met one person in my life I couldn't stained. And I really did try to like her. I like people who are true to themselves. And tend to be out going, Maybe because I am not out going. I like being some one others can trust and confide in. I like knowing others I can feel the same about. I trust first, but if u loose that trust I can never give it fully again, but every one gets a secant chance.

8. I feel most comfertable with kids. They are honist and hide nothing. To see the world so new and wonderas as a child dose. Is amazing to me. I feel so privleged to be even a small part of it all.

I tag
Niki, snarkee britchez, http://www.myspace.com/shutterbugmama, http://www.myspace.com/clairest81, http://www.myspace.com/crimson_critter, http://www.myspace.com/tom_the_man_webber , http://www.myspace.com/jam718, http://www.myspace.com/dtato

Hanging Around

Well been keeping bizzy with the kids. Thursday we went out to the history museum witch was a lot of fun. Terns out the glass museum is free on the third Thursday of the month too so we got to walk threw there. Really pretty stuff. Tammie and Shelby cam with us and James even maneged to be home. He showed me a much easier way to get there from our house too. Friday my nephews spent the night. The boys had a blast. Locked themselves in there room and plaid all night. Then on Sat we went to a fair there Mom was working to represent the black forest police department. We got to play in the fire trucks and police car. They had blow up jumping things and we tired ourselves out. Today we rested and hung out. Oh and got Trevor new shoos. Swear he goes thew a par a month lately.

Some pic's of our weak

Shelby, Nathen, Devon adn Trevor

On the prarie

Dress Up Time


And they did it all on there own

Nathen and Daddy Havign fun with Trains

Devon lIked this one on the Glass bridge

Aund Mellissas Police car

Devon. Trevor Nathen and Cortlan

Kennedie and Devon

We even beet the Rain that day.

Another Weak

I really haven't had much to post, but felt I should chime in. Well we have been bizzy.

Last Thursday we went swimming with friends the boys got a treat when we ran into an old school friend as well at the pool. Both Trevor and Devon had a crush on her at one time.

Friday Niki put up with us for a hole afternoon. We played and she made great gluten free pizza. The boys were so thrilled with piking barriers at the soccer Field. Nathen was covered in barriers from head to toe. She wore us out so much that on

Sat. I almost forgot to take Nathen to gym. we made it 20 min late, but we made it and he always has such fun. Even got a tern on the swing. After we came home and while James sleep off a hard nights work we washed and cleaned our cars.

Sunday I took the day to rest. All this may not sound like a lot to u all, but I am lazy and it is a lot for me.

Monday we went to swim placates and then to Target to pick up a book. I met a nice women there with kids about Trevor and Devon's age. We are doing a book study together. I am a little nerves about the hole realigns thing, but she is nice and it never hurts to become more educated in anything.

Today I sleep in thanks to James, went to ToysRus and finally got Devon's birthday present from with the money my dad sent. I had him talked into getting a really cool man that u should check out the body parts on, but Trevor had more influence and he got magnetic man instead. He is happy so I am too. We came home and played in the sprinkler to beet the heat and played with our toys. A good weak I think. Thanks to good friends as always.

Costco is awesome. I got to return 35 dollars in stuff the boys couldn't eat and left with 27 dollars worth of food they can eat and a little extra in my pocket. How cool.

On another note still fiddling with the WVA paper work and have to tern in the paper work for the YMCA tomorrow. UGH I hate paper work. I still haven't finished my resamie even. I think part of me doesn't want to get that done. I am so scared to work again.

And the house is a mess. Probably will not clean it tell sat.

Got to viset Daddy at work today

This is the Train we got to drive

Watching Daddy drive by

Trevor, Shelby and Devon

This is the Train they got drive

Nathe, Devon and Trevor

A quick snack while Daddy works.

Trevor and Devon going for a ride

Shelby is having her tern to drive

I'm a Gryffindor!

"You belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart,Their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart."

Some days I just want a sandwich

It is a topical day. Shelby even went home early. Yet I feel stressed and irritated. James would say it is lack of sex. That's his answer to every thing. My be part of it. I hate not being in the mood. I really want to be. Any how that is not the point.

Just can't seam to get it out. I am so angry about not having money, about the food stuff (even though I have had great support in this) some days I just want a sandwich. Trying to make wheat free, milk free bread today. I hope it works. Will keep u posted. So u would think as the bread is baking I would see some light, but no. I am doing all it takes not to be snappy with the kids. Mostly just giving them something to do and leaving the room. Seams to be working so far.

I am applying at the YMCA as well. I hope the extra money will help, but really don't know how to feel about any of it. I haven't worked out side my home in seven years. At least at the Y I can take my kids into class with me or have them in an activity at the same time. Even the day care is free while I work if it comes to that. I hope it doesn't. I don't want to put Nathen threw it. I am hoping it will replace me having to watch Shelby. I love the girl, but really am not getting paid what I need to have it take up 14 hours of most of my days. I do feel she needs the structure we can give, I just don't want to be tied down with her school schedule and her mom is doing nothing to change anything. I just don't know how to Handel any of it and James is stressed out about money and again I don't know what to do.

How did we get to this point. Was the secant car really so far out of our reach we are now swimming in debt. I feel so at felt over all of it. The car, school stuff, food, bills. And I feel helpless. I wish I could just cry and get it out, but no that doesn't happen ether.

Grumble grumble grumble. That's all folks.

Cave in the rain

Wednesday morning, and that is were I wanted to be. Just to crawl into my cave of anti socialness and sleep. Stay in bed, not get out of my PJ's all day and veg. But that was not to be.

Hurriedly got ready for swim class at the YMCA. Last class so couldn't miss that. Then of to Lory's. Who even in an off mood was as sweet as can be and still let us intrude on her home and time. I couldn't be more grateful. The kids had a blast and I learned a bit. Witch when I was leaving I didn't really get, but once it sank in. Wow! Lory knows her stuff and has been such a great comfort threw our transition from the land of non allergy to the land of no wheat and milk. With her help and a few others it has been more an adventure then a nightmare. So we had a great time. and I am glad we got out of the house. Rainy days can tern out good it seams.

Niki~ Lory's kitchen was clean when I left. Just thought u would like to know.

Normal

Saturday Pancakes

So Saturday we had a little bit of normal. Found a pancake mix with no milk or gluten. Our pancake weekend breakfast is back. And none to soon. It has been quite a change for all of us. I don't remember ever going three weeks without cooking something premade and frozen. The boys seam to like the new foods we have been trying, but still haven't found a milk substitute they both like.
Marlen's terned out to be the place to be. I love that store. They even make a soy sausage James likes. Now if I can just convince him to keep eating this healthier way I will be thrilled. Have one and a half months to convince him. At least in the end I will no longer buy premade food with all the preservatives and all. He can't argue with that. And if the boys can have wheat and milk again we can still keep a heather diet and the gluten at a minimum. So in the end it is so much better for us all even if I had to be forced into it I like this new way of things in our home. James even mad salsa with the kids. All fresh veggies and they loved the time with there dad. Vary cool

Sarcasm in Bloom

So yesterday I reluctantly cleaned my bathrooms. Not my favorite job, but well it has to be done. My little Nathen in all his joy watched Mommy scrub away and on occasion made a grab for a spay bottle to help. In witch I reply. "Don't touch it will make u sick" It is after saying this about three times and him pulling his hand away that on the fourth he simply smiled reached out and "Touched" the bottle with one finger. My mothers curs has come true. I have a kid "just like me"

Home for the 4Th

The 4Th of July has been in debate at our house for some time. I wanted James home and he wanted to work. Yes we need the money and things are slow at work so I see his side, but I don't care. I want him home to help me blow things up.

So long story short. I WIN! James took the day off. We went out to lunch with his sister and then off to her house at the lake. Aside from putting up with Her and her DH making little snide remarks at each other and Cort wanting to do anything but play with his little cousins we had a great time. The kids had a wonderful time with bottle rockets. The older once would set them off and the younger once would chase after the sticks. And in true boy fashion Cort did this tell his finger blistered. And once the darkness hit we all got to see a wonderful show put on by the neighbors around the lake. First year we didn't buy any our self. It was loud and bright and a wonderful time.

Today we slept in, I cleaned the bathrooms and finished cleaning out my food supply. Now I just have to shop so the boys have something to eat. Niki and Lory have been such an asset with this hole allergy thing. So now I go threw the debate in my head weather to shop today or put it off tell tomorrow. mmmm tuffy.

And the Rain came down

Today we finished the boys playroom/classroom. and with all the rain they will be putting it to good use.

We also got to the library today and made Planispheres. It was fun, but the man giving the class was a bit more into the stares then all the kids. We do now have a cool way to examine the stars. Just have to go were we can see them.

Hope we ahve some sun tomarrow. Need to send the kids out so I can cleen the floors. mmm maybe I'll put it off.